The Ongoing Tale

Moved

2010-05-18T15:39:00.001+07:00

Blog that is.

If you're still interested in reading my blog, go check out: http://thelastcookie.tumblr.com/

That's where I'll be. :)

Hail Storm!

2010-03-08T17:44:00.002+07:00

Random

2010-03-08T15:34:00.003+07:00

Disclaimer: Not meant to offend anyone!

In Psychology class today, while discussing about what intelligent people (the examples included Mozart and Einstein) have in common:

Naoto: They all die young.

Jorge: That's why Japanese live for such a long time.

xDDDD

Everybody broke out laughing, including Naoto. The lecturer looked at us like we were all nuts. We weren't, we were just tired from doing HOI essay.

Life's fun little moments

2010-03-08T11:09:00.002+07:00

Moment #1

I knew that indonesian was offered as a subject here in Australia, but I never thought I'd know anyone who actually learned it. Then Jess - one of my PW friends - went on msn "gah, I need to do an essay in Indo" and I was like 0_0. And it turned out she's been taking Indonesian since grade 3! She's in grade 12! O_O

Moment #2:

Just when I thought a certain friend *coughmargarethcough* had forgotten about me, she texted me in the middle of the night to say happy belated birthday. Two weeks late, but I was still happy anyway.

Moment #3:

Been home alone for almost a week, and strangely enough I'm enjoying it. I like doing things at my own pace, it turns out. Except for the part where Dixon starts talking about ghosts. *glares* Oh, and the chores part.

Moment #4:

Whenever I get to chat on msn with thania, mag, nit, feli, chel and stella. Or any other good friends from high school really. Sometimes it's like we're still talking everyday. True we have to catch up on the topics, but it's great when you just fall into place together.

2010-02-19T20:01:00.002+07:00

You wait, little girl, on an empty stage

For fate to turn the light on

Something Worth Fighting For

2010-02-19T19:34:00.003+07:00

It's not all fun and games.

Hell no. This is fast track after all. We do a year worth of work in eight months. We juggle 3 essays, a drama performance, and a presentation. Some do it like a pro, and others (like me) flail and moan and proscrastinate and go into panics, but pull through anyway. At least, I hope I'll pull through. Sometimes it feels like swimming through an ocean; one day you've got your head above water and the current's not dragging you down, but other times you kick and fight to keep from drowning.

Yes, I like the classes. The lessons still hold my attention and I don't dread school. But assignments? They're an entirely different story.

I have a terrible habit of lying back once I've got good scores, and I know it. Which is why I'm trying to keep myself on track, making sure I don't rely on those scores I've already got. They only count for 35% at most after all, and I'm aware of it. I just have to find my drive again, and I think I know what it is.

This time I'm fighting for myself.

This time this is for me. Sure, I'd like to make my family proud and show that being here, the second option, is not a mistake. That I can be in a place so completely new and not fall apart like a porcelain doll. That I'm not a baby. But above all I want it for me. I want to get into Psychology. I want to be here. And I want to pass with flying colours.

I just have to tell myself that all the time.

Reportsss

2010-01-19T18:06:00.003+07:00

Term 1 reports are out! And I am pretty happy about it. There's that tiny feeling of disappointment about not getting those spectacular marks, but I did well. That's enough for now. And the comments are my favourite part:

"Priscilla performed exceptionally well in the Semester 1 exam (93%). Not only has she demonstrated an excellent understanding of the course material, but she is always on time to class and participates in all activities and discussions."

"Priscilla is an intelligent and thoughtful student who is performing well in this course."

"Priscilla is a pleasure to have in class. She asks good questions and participates well in activities
and discussions. Priscilla is a capable and hard-working student. Her first essay result was good,
and shows that she is well on the way to developing important academic skills of written expression and critical analysis."

*squee*

This is the second time I'm looking at my reports with a smile on my face. Really. I used to be very disappointed when I look at my report in high school. And mind you, I didn't get 93% on any finals in high school. Except maybe English.

Now I'm just counting everything and hoping I have the grades to get into Arts. I think I do though, so now I just have to see if I can get enough for a scholarship. It's a really long shot, but I wouldn't know if I don't try, would I?

Housemates

2010-01-18T19:46:00.003+07:00

So here's another perk of living in a homestay: housemates.

Well so far I've only lived with two, but they're pretty interesting to live with. One girl was from Oman, and she was a character, for lack of better word. She's funny and interesting to talk to, and the different culture contributed to some intriguing conversations. I'd never even consider marrying my cousins, but apparently she's allowed to, even encouraged.

Yeah.

She was pretty preoccupied with finals for a good portion of the time, and she was quite stressed, but we had some good talk. She's gone back to her home now, and I'm not sure if or when she'll be back.

At the moment though, I'm living with a Japanese girl (woman?), Azusa. She's twenty-five - though she looks eighteen to me - and very sweet. She's much better at chopping parsleys than I am, and despite the language barrier, we get along. Trying to understand what she says gets funny sometimes, and I like how she's always taking pictures of things. She wrote a lovely Christmas card for me last December and gave me Japanese snacks, which I loved. I bought her two packs of Lindt's chocolate, which she loved too.

She cooks too! And last Sunday she cooked Japanese rice cakes and soy sauce soup for us (see pictures). Did you know every year some people in Japan die from choking on rice cakes? Apparently you have to chew carefully, otherwise it'll get stuck in your throat.

I chewed very carefully, and my jaw was pretty stiff in the end.

It was quite delicious though. And I wish she didn't have to move so fast. But as it is, I'll be saying goodbye to her two weeks from now. :( There'll be another girl coming - I'm guessing another Japanese - and I hope I'll get along with her like I do with the others.

and the reason is you

2010-01-15T17:19:00.007+07:00

'Love and fear. Everything the father of a family says must inspire one or the other' - Joseph Joubert

There's a very good reason why I'm not in a rush to go home.

Why is it that everytime I think of my own dad, it's often the latter that takes over me? I think over everything I say before I say it outloud because I'm afraid he'll take it the wrong way and the simple chat would turn into something disastrous. I constantly second guess myself. Would this be good enough? Would he approve? If I say this or do that, would I be good enough? I don't say what I feel because he doesn't understand, never did, and I'm tired of trying. Tired of him lecturing when all I need is a laugh or a bit of consoling. So now I don't talk. Not to him, not to someone who reminds me of him, and not to those I don't know well. Hell, even my best friends don't know everything.

The only reason I'd cry here is because of home, but not because of homesickness. I wonder if part of me being happy here is because I'm far from home. News from home don't always soothe me; they worry me more often than not. I feel so much older than eighteen sometimes, and I hate it. I know I'm strong, but not always, and I don't always want to be.

I spoke to Linda - my host mum - about how I'm constantly worrying about how he'd react to whatever I tell him, and she said, "I'd think you're self-possessed enough to not let your dad get to you."

I wish.

Don't get me wrong. I love my dad like every child would. He works hard for us, he makes sure we're well taken care of, and he loves us. But like most children, we don't have the best relationship. I just want to feel like I'm good enough. I don't want to feel like a damn disappointment every other day. That's not too much to ask, is it?

"I'm just saying parents screw up. It's what they're good at. They do." - Tibby, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Heatwave

2010-01-11T17:07:00.004+07:00

It's freaking hot today.

45 degrees. It keeps going up 2 degrees since the first forecast. It was still supposed to be 41 on Saturday.

So the water sprayer my host mum gave me for Christmas comes in handy after all. I'm sitting under the fan spraying cool water on my face. XD It helps. Doesn't stop the heat, but it helps.

Where's the rain when you need one?

Worth a thousand words

2010-01-10T10:03:00.004+07:00

"Our lives are made

In these small hours

These little wonders

These twists & turns of fate

Time falls away

But these small hours

These small hours still remain"

- Rob Thomas, "Little Wonders"

Looking through old pictures and feeling rather sentimental. I finally understand why my dad takes way too many pics sometimes. When you take the pictures, you don't really realize how important they'd be later. All the pictures above were taken just for fun, but now they bring back a lot of memories of the good times I had. I can look at them and remember almost exactly what we were doing at the time, and what we were laughing above. I still laugh at them sometimes.

Back (to school), Books, and Becky Bloomwood

2010-01-05T18:34:00.002+07:00

School's in! Never thought I'd be happy about that. =P I loved xmas holiday, but classes aren't bad. The routine of getting up early, doing homework, and squeezing into a rush hour train is the only downside. Really. It's not like high school where I'd stay in bed for an extra five minutes after my alarm goes off wishing it were a Sunday.

But it's not just classes I look forward to. It's my friends. Lunch time and the time inbetween classes when we're planning the weekend and complaining to and pep-talking each other about exams and assignments. That's one of the perks of going to school, isn't it?

Assignments, however, aren't one of them. Literature already has us reading a novel, which I'm not really complaining about, except it's not that easy to read. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is the first novel that we have to read this term. The plot? A future without books. Firemen don't put out fire; they set the fire. Guy Montag, the main character, is a fireman who - after an incident - starts to wonder if books are as bad as they thought. My summary's not doing it much justice, but it is quite fascinating. Especially for a bookworm like me; I can't imagine a world where you will get arrested for having a book in your house. Sounds horrific.

Believe it or not, I actually bought more books this weekend. One is Meg Cabot's Airhead: Being Nikky, and the other is Second Glance by Jodi Picoult. One light-hearted, the other depressing. I don't know when I'll finish reading them, but I know I want to read them. I've been wanting to read Airhead for a while, so when I saw a copy in St. Andrews market (for $7!), I bought it right away. And my host mum took me to this street with awesome bookshops with the prices far cheaper than Borders, so I couldn't resist getting Second Glance when I saw it.

And if you wondered why Becky Bloomwood is in the title, that's 'cause those books, they're not the only things I bought. Me and vintage markets and cheap things = me buying stuff. I felt a bit like Becky (Confession of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella), who simply can't resist a good sale. The difference between me and Becky? I don't go for brands. It's good things under $20 that I can't say no to. From Boxing Day up to Sunday, I've bought skirts, tops, a cardigan, a vest, scarves, a pair of flip-flops, a pair of flats, a belt, a bag, bracelets, a necklace, and an iPod.

*blinks*

It didn't look that many when I bought them.

Though fortunately, unlike Becky, I didn't break the bank. Half of those things I got very cheap in vintage markets and during Boxing Day sale. Besides, I only shopped during that time period, so I actually could splurge. Now that the sales are over, I can turn away from the shops quite happily and focus on homework again.

Kicking off the new year with rain

2009-12-31T21:58:00.003+07:00

The last day of 2009 started very hot, 35 degrees, and ended with pouring rain. I was cold, my hair's miserable, my feet hurt, and all and all nice and wet. The umbrella did nothing to help; I actually think it might have a leak....

But despite all of that, I had a blast. Started with picnicking with Candy's host parents and housemates. Well, I didn't actually eat anything. Just sat with them by the river and chat. The rain started falling around 9, and all 20 of us held up our umbrellas. I guess it must've been pretty funny to onlookers. One woman actually stopped to take pictures of us. :P Too bad I couldn't; my camera's not waterproof. =/

Mini fireworks display at 9.30. Was alright. Candy and I went to meet up with Dixon. The rain got so bad we had to go to Hungry Jack for shelter. Had never seen so many people in Melbourne before. It was pretty nuts. Oh, and a guy punched the glass door of Hungry Jack. It cracked. I think he was either drunk or fighting with his girlfriend, or both. The security didn't notice until he was gone.

Around 11, we returned to fed square and stood in the rain (with umbrellas of course) and watched performance from this African dance group. It was fun, everyone singing along and clapping. Had a small conversation with this guy who didn't bring an umbrella, and I was being nice and shared mine. Not my type though, and I don't really like talking to strangers, so it ended really quick.

The firework was just okay, I think. I've seen better. But what was exciting was the atmosphere. Everyone was counting down and excited and having fun; that was really nice. And I had a lovely time, didn't even mind being wet for a bit. But then of course everyone was going home and pushing each other to reach the trains. Not so lovely.

But all in all it was definitely an interesting way to start off 2010. Hope everyone else had a wonderful NYE too!

'Cause it's the last day....

2009-12-30T20:40:00.002+07:00

...And I'm wide awake with Thania telling me to update this blog, so here goes.

It's funny, I'm sitting here trying to think of important events that had happened to me in the last year, and some felt as if they've happened a lifetime ago. Others felt as fresh as yesterday (which is only 46 minutes ago, Melbourne time, when I typed this).

For years I wanted to be older, and now I am. ~ Margareth Atwood

I spent the first two months studying my brains out for the university entrance exams. (Which I failed. Felt miserable at first, but meh. It's probably the best. I don't think I'll survive attending that university anyway.)

Spent five months studying some more to finish high school. Spent more times with friends knowing it was almost goodbye.

Graduated high school. Not exactly with flying colours, but with fond memories, which probably count for more than the grades on my report card.

Had five months holiday, in which everything I've learned is forgotten and I got ready for Melbourne. Shopping and reading and listening to mini speeches about growing up... Sometimes I wonder if I had been so prepared that when it came time for goodbye, I didn't feel as terrible as I'd thought.

Learned the hard way that nobody is perfect. And some people's screw up hurt more than others, simply because you trusted them more than others.

Arrived at Melbourne. Started foundation. Made friends - good friends. All in the space of 2 weeks. That didn't leave much time to feel homesick, so I didn't. I missed home, but I didn't cry myself to sleep for it. Still don't.

Worked hard for classes. Hadn't gotten anything below 80%. Yay. For the first time in a very long time, going to classes doesn't feel like a burden.

Had my first taste of wine! And sake! And I don't love them. They're fine, but I'm not addicted or anything. Good thing too.

Didn't fall in love. It's been forever since I had butterflies in my stomach because a guy was around, and I kinda miss the feeling.

All in all, 2009 has been a hell of a year. Some epiphanies are far more bitter than others, but this one is sweet: I'm happy now. I'm happy being here, being who I am right now. I'm not completely happy all the time - I complain a lot sometimes - but I'm content. And for that, I am grateful.

What's up with me

2009-12-05T20:07:00.004+07:00

Essays: piling. Exams: coming. I'm keeping my head above water, but it's a struggle.

Missing my besties like hell. I wanna go home in July just to see them!

Trying to figure out what I really feel about some things and some people.

Have too many thoughts I can't put into a blog.

I Am As You See Me

2009-11-13T14:20:00.002+07:00

"I am as you see me. I can be as light as a breeze or strong as a gale, it depends on when and how you see me pass." - Clarice Lispector

I've been called an independent, intelligent young woman. And yet others make me feel like I'm a dull little girl.

People who don't know me think I'm way too quiet, but I can talk and talk and talk to those I'm comfortable with.

My new friends seem to think I'm a genius, top of my class and everything. Which made me laugh, hard. I take notes, listen in class and everything that comes with the good girl package, but I've never been the girl with the highest mark in everything. Maybe that's why I work hard.

Interesting isn't it, to see what kind of impressions you made on some people? Sometimes I wonder which ones are true, which ones are just part of the mask.

A Long Weekend

2009-11-02T19:13:00.002+07:00

So Melbourne's got a holiday for the Melbourne Cup, aka horse racing. How awesome is that? I have zero interest in horse races, but it's fun to see people wearing fancy clothes - girls with their dresses and hats and guys in sharp suits. And they were on the trams and trains too. XD

Most importantly though, I get Monday and Tuesday off. Just in time for a busy week too: I've got a Media and Communication assignment, Lit test, and Math practice test (meaning the mark doesn't count toward our final grade). Don't forget the History of Idea essay had just been announced as well. I'm slightly nervous, because this means school is really kicking into gear. I've seen relatives and housemate suffering under the final exams stress, I just hope my time won't come just yet.

Speaking of relatives, I hung out with cousins and niece last Saturday. It was nice; their being here is one of the reasons I'm not crying my eyes out for home. Still, I didn't say much. I am quiet by default, I'll admit that. But I can be talkative. Those who are closest to me will tell you that. So I'm guessing I'm not that comfortable around them just yet.

Sunday was spent hanging with friends. Had to get up earlier than my normal hour on weekend to go to St. Kilda's beach with a quarter of the intake. Not really worth it. Too windy, boring, nothing special. But afterwards, my friends and I headed back to the city and had Hungry Jack for lunch. Nothing like a good burger on a Sunday I guess. And the day got better when we went to Harbour Town, a nice shopping center at Dockland. Diana seemed very happy, and it was fun. The boys seemed to enjoy it too, though I think Dixon looked a bit bored. =P We might go back again one day, because the shops were getting ready to close down by the time we got there, and Candy didn't come with us.

Today was spent a bit more... productively, I guess. Went to the library with the gang to study, and actually did some studying. So proud of myself about that. :) The day went downhill after that, when I'm stuck in a gathering where everyone speaks a language I don't understand. If I had known, I wouldnt' have gone. It was just uncomfortable and unpleasant, feeling very much left out, even though they didn't intend to do it. But the day ended on a good note, having dinner in a Chinese restaurant with my friends, sharing food and joking. Candy said it reminded her of her home (in a good sense, not in a I'm-suddenly-homesick kind of way), and I kinda felt the same.

Tomorrow, Melbourne Cup's day, will be spent revising. That's the plan anyway, and I do want to stick to it. Wish me luck!

One Month and Two Days

2009-10-30T13:03:00.003+07:00

That is how long I've been in Melbourne. Doesn't look like a long time, but as they say, time is a funny thing. On one hand, it feels like I've been here much longer. On the other, it's as if I blinked once and an entire month had gone by. Suddenly we're approaching essays, tests, exams... And suddenly there's this conversation again about trying to get scholarship. Talk about getting my head in the game.

I'm not complaining. I have looked forward to going to uni ever since I was in year eleven. I've planned for this year - and the ones ahead - for a while, and so far I'm loving each moment. I get up every morning actually looking forward to class, I don't feel like curling up in bed and forget about school. High school was wonderful, but for me, it was mostly about getting to this point: Get good grades to get into the good uni. Which uni? Which major? Be independent. Get ready. Grow up. For once I'm ready to agree with Stephenie Meyer. I don't remember the exact quote but it's something like: High school is to be endured. College is to be enjoyed."

I sure hope it'll stay this way for a while.

This New Chapter

2009-10-20T14:33:00.006+07:00

So you'd think that having just moved here to Melbourne - well it's been a bit over three weeks actually - I'd have lots of stories to tell. And I do. I just don't really know where to start.

Well, for starter, it's not as bad as I thought it would. I keep waiting for the wave of homesickness to take over. And I'm still waiting. Haven't curled up in bed crying over missing home, though I do miss it. I miss the family, I miss my friends. Heck, I miss my dogs. Still, there are so many things to do and see here that I find myself distracted and hardly ever lonely. My house mother is perfectly lovely, and my house mate is too. I feel right at home. There was a tiny bit of drama at the start, but it's over now and I don't feel like bringing it up. Let's just say my gut feeling about someone was right from the start.

Getting on the public transport was a bit nerve-racking at the start. I totally gaped at the tram, nearly toppled over inside it once, and the numbers and the train lines just ran gave me a headache. I've been driven around for most of my life, so it was understandable that I was a bit freaked out. Right? Thank God for my cousins (and niece) for showing me around. I'd probably feel lot worse if they weren't here. I used to say I've got way too many relatives - and I still think I do, but it's not necessarily a bad thing. ANYWAY... I'm used to the transportation now. Haven't gotten completely lost in two weeks. =P And once I'm less nervous about being in a compeletely foreign place, I don't freak out so much. =D

I think I can safely say I've found my friends. Not just people I sometimes hang out with, but people you can confide in with your problems. They're all from Hong Kong, but we all speak English (obviously), so it's fine. Awesome, in fact. You'd think I'd connect better with people from my own country, but I don't. Not really. They're perfectly nice, but we don't click that well. Still, I miss my girls. I don't think anyone will ever come close to what I have with them, not as far as I can tell.

As for school, classes are going well. I'm following lectures well, and I'm actually enjoying some of the classes. So far I haven't dreaded school at all, which is awesome. =D My electives are Psychology, Media and Communication, and Maths 1. And I don't think I made the wrong choice at all. Still have to establish a routine though; five months break from studying does nothing to help with my studying habit.

So yeah, that's the past three weeks in a nutshell. Will be posting more, I think. Mostly because I will probably need the rant space, especially once homework builds up.

Back

2009-10-20T05:23:00.001+07:00

Just a small note to say that I am coming back to this blog. It's been too long.

20k

2009-07-11T15:07:00.003+07:00

Yes, I broke 20k. I wrote 20,000 words in 10 days. HA!

And now I'm tired. Still have 30k more to go, but it can wait for at least half a day. I can barely think about where I'm going with the story right now.

Ooh, btw, I have a Twitter. It's www.twitter.com/priss21. I thought it was silly, but it's actually quite fun. Follow me there if you want to. ^_^

Day 3

2009-07-03T14:36:00.003+07:00

6,385 words.

Have never written so many words in three days. And I haven't even gone past the first chapter. It's a little crazy, but it's fun, writing without rethinking myself.

Here's something that made me panic: I've already outlined 16 chapters, but an hour into writing, new characters are popping up! An ex-boyfriend, another best friend, grandparents, AND the boy my main character would fall in with later went from being the stepbrother's best friend to a careless driver who was involved in a car crash.

O.o

I've never outlined before. I usually just plan as I go, so sudden twists like those are to be expected, really. I'm hoping to be able to call myself a novelist by the end of the month, so wish me luck!

no idea what to call this

2009-06-30T15:09:00.002+07:00

So I haven't updated this blog in forever. I don't really know what to write.

Well, there is one exciting news. As of last Friday, I am officially a high school graduate. It should be exciting, but it feels rather anti-climatic. We already said our goodbyes to the school (and the teachers) months ago.

Getting my diploma was a big problem though. You see, we already scheduled a weekend getaway and suddenly they announced that we have to take the diplomas on Friday. So what we did was: the family drove up to Malang, dropped off my mom and sis at the hotel, then my dad and I (and the driver) drove to Surabaya. Right after the whole ceremony was over, we drove back to Malang. I spent at least 8 hours on the road, listening to the songs on my phone over and over and over again.

Anyway, I'm back in my hometown... and starting to take daily Chinese lessons. I can say some of the simpler sentences now, though I'd probably pause here and there to remember the tone. =P And I'm cooking! Well, only once, but it turned out okay, and I'm going to cook more.

And July is almost here! Wish me luck as I attempt to write 50,000 words in 31 days! *nervous*

Catching Up

2009-06-18T09:46:00.006+07:00

So... Been very busy. Not busy as in "oh God, I have absolutely no time to relax" busy, but life has been very eventful.

Sunday: Officially graduated high school. It was a good feeling, though there was nothing to celebrate. I mean, you must graduate. It's not an achievement. But still, it felt good. Oh, and went to Suramadu in the morning. You'd think it was the Golden Gate by the way people lined up to cross it. There must have been at least a hundred motorcycle there. And it's just a bridge.

Monday: Checked out my national exams grades. It was okay. Not good, not bad, totally average. Huh.

Also went out with my sis to Sutos. Ate at Frankfurter Hotdog, which is quickly becoming one of my favorite eating spots. I love the sausages. =D My sister has all the pics.

Tuesday: Hung out with Michelle and Anita at GM. FUN!

Wednesday: Hung out again, but this time at Sutos. Ate Frankfurter again, because I succesfully lured them into it. *insert evil laugh here* And then Michelle had to leave to get her teeth pulled out (by a dentist of course), so Anita and I talked while eating ice cream at Gelare. Good ice cream, even better talk. Yet to ask the pictures from Michelle.

Today: I'm supposed to go to Alfalink to take care of stuffs, but I have to wait because the AC is going to be repaired today and the people who have to repair has yet to come. Gahh.

I can't cook, but I can clean

2009-06-09T11:12:00.002+07:00

Yes, I haven't practiced cooking. But I have cleaned. This morning, I rolled up my sleeve and borrowed the mop and the broom and started sweeping and mopping my room. Don't know how clean it is, but it's a good exercise.

It's raining... I sort of like moments like this; it's calm and cold and overall peaceful. As long as it doesn't storm, I'm good.

Anyway, went to Thania's house last Friday and we compiled a list of qualities guys should have to be worthy of us. =P Will post my list later, but it definitely got me thinking. I've had that sort of list ever since I started seeing boys as... boys, but I've never quite fallen for the guys with traits I've listed. I just... fell. My heart never lets me choose. It chooses for itself.

*is mushy*

Still, though I won't be very picky about it, I'll stick to my criteria. To be honest, I'm not that worried about being single, but I'd love to fall in love again. It's always a great feeling when it's right, and I miss that.

Another one... and homework

2009-06-04T10:34:00.003+07:00

Again, should've been posted last month. Thank you chacha! I don't know which one you wanted to give me, so I take them all. =P

Rules:

1. Put these awards into your blog

2. Tag 10 friends

3. Links those friends

4. Tell them about these awards

5. Share this link to others and to whom these awards tagged

Too lazy to tag again, so the same to the previous tags. =D

1. 5 things found in my bag:

- Notebook

- Purse

- Lipbalm

- A pen

- A small comb

2. 5 things found in my purse:

- Money (duh)

- ID

- Various random business cards

- Receipts

- Photos

3. 5 favourite things in my room:

- My bed

- My wardrobe

- The collage my friends made me for my 17th birthday

- Pictures

- My desk

4. 5 thing I always wanted to do:

- Write (and complete) a novel

- Publish the said novel

- Visit London

- Have a guy friend, not a boyfriend. A boyfriend is nice too, but I'd like to have a guy friend I can really talk to.

- Go to a concert.

5. 5 things I'm currently into:

- Editing

- Blogging

- The Biggest Loser

- Eureka

- Cooking (or the effort to cook)

The person who inspired you now is: Mum

Your five impression of her: Strong, understanding, strict, great, loving

1. Punya handphone?
Ya iya lah

2. Merk + tipe handphone?
Nokia... Ga tau tipenya.

3.Warna/gambar theme yang lagi dipakai sekarang
Merah hitam

4. Wallpaper?
Standar

5. Warna casing?
Ga ada casing

6. Aplikasi/folder yang pertama keliatan begitu tekan tombol 'menu'?

Gallery

7. Bahasa yang digunakan di handphone?

English

8. Kapasitas baterai saat ini?

50%

9. Pakai slot memory? Jenis?

10. Total kapasitas slot memori? Sisa kapasitas yang belum terpakai saat ini?

---

11. Choice: Banyak terisi untuk apa memorinya?(A) Foto (B) Video (C) Musik (D) Lain-lain?

A & C

12. Ada fitur koneksi Bluetooth?

Ada

13. Nama Bluetooth kamu saat ini?

Sweet Niblets

14. Aplikasi yang paling sering kamu gunakan?

messaging

15. Sisa pulsamu saat ini?

Ga penting

16. Provider seluler yang kamu pake?

Simpati

17. Nomer handphone?

Hahahaha

award

2009-06-04T10:13:00.003+07:00

This was supposed to be done/posted last month, but me being me, I forgot. =p Thanks to my sis, Clodd, for this award.

Rules:

1. Put the logo in one of your posts

2. Put the link of the blog who has given you this award

3. Give this award to those 10 people who are friendly and inspiring, put their blogs’ links as well

4. Tell them you’ve given this award by leaving a message on their blogs

Amanda
Margareth
Stella
Yuni
Agung
Lidwina

Fun Stuff

2009-06-03T11:02:00.001+07:00

I said before I would explain what Potter’s World is. So, here goes:

Potter's World is a Play-By-Post RPG (Roleplaying Game) forum. As explained on the forum: Roleplaying is the act of telling a story from your character’s point of view while other people and their character contribute to it as well. You all begin on a specific plot line with a common knowledge background, which, in this case, is the Harry Potter universe and the back story plot line which has been kindly provided by the creators of Potter’s World.

Basically, we create a character different from ourselves. The game revolves around Harry Potter’s universe, obviously, so everyone starts on the age of eleven, when you just start Hogwarts. Your character will receive the Hogwarts letter, visit Diagon Alley, get on Kings’s Cross, and eventually arrive at Hogwarts. In seven years (game time. In real life = seven months or more, depends on how often you play), you complete Hogwarts and move on to being adults. So at the heart of it, it’s like when you were a kid and play in your bedroom, pretending you were someone else. It’s loads of fun, especially if you love to write, because it’s all about description and dialogues.

My character is a boy named Kendall Atwood. I only realized later on that Kendall is a girls’ name in US, but I found it in UK boys’ name section of a website, so I stuck with it, only I had him nicknamed Ken. He’s still an ickle first year, but next Saturday he’ll be a second year. He’s fun to play, mostly because I’m not a boy, so it’s a challenge to keep him boyish and not girly. =P

Speaking of writing, I’ve been planning a novel for JulNoWriMo (July Novel Writing Month). It’s usually called NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) which takes place in November. I’ve never been able to participate because finals are always around that month, but they’re opening up another time slot this year. Basically you have to write 50,000 words in one month. You just have to write and not care about grammar, whether it makes sense or not, and all that. It’s quantity over quality, just to get you start writing. Editing can always come later. Since I’m not doing anything, I’ve decided to participate. I’ve already have a novel in works, but I’m not going to work on that this July. I know I’ll be a perfectionist if I use that one, so I’m writing a new story, but with my old characters.

I’ve already started planning up to chapter 6. I’ve never planned anything I’ve written before, so it feels strange, to say the least, but it does get me organized.

I’ll try to keep blogging when July comes around, but I make no promises. =P

Steps to the edge

2009-06-01T11:30:00.001+07:00

“To keep our faces towards change and behave as free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable”-Helen Keller

Yesterday was the first step to goodbye. We bought two suitcases, especially for me, with advices that I should put whatever I want to bring into them. I sat at my library and began to wonder which books I’d like to bring, if any. One day I would like to bring my Harry Potter collections, but that would have to wait until I have a permanent home. I looked at the pretty collage my friends made for me and felt sad, knowing I have to leave it here. Mum talked about buying winter clothes, new shoes, new jeans, and I thought I should get a very short hair cut before I leave. I fed my dog and wondered if he would still remember me when I come home years from now.

It feels scary, now that it’s really here. I feel like I want to go, I can’t wait for college, but I also don’t want to say goodbye. I have to fly, but taking off isn’t easy.

Had the briefing too yesterday. Saw exactly two faces I recognized, only one of those I knew by name. The guy who sat next to me looked familiar, but I can’t place my finger on it. There were less people than I imagined, but we’re probably only a small portion of the big picture. There wasn’t anything new to the presentation, but I felt excited. Now I really listen, because this school was where I was going to be in four months.

Four months. Seems like a long time now, but October will be here before I knew it. But first, we’ll have to go through graduation first. Which will be in… two weeks? I hope my grades are good. Will let you know if they are.

Sick

2009-05-28T18:41:00.002+07:00

Got really sick yesterday. Fever and stomachache. Had to lie in bed for twelve hours. I don't remember the last time I got this sick, out of nowhere too. I couldn't even bear the smell of food; skipped dinner and had chocolate milk and two slices of white bread for breakfast and lunch. And now I'm all tired because of the lack of food. Gah.

Well at least I could get up now. Still can't handle the smell of food though. More white bread for me. Yay... not.

Anyway, watched Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist just now. Starring Michael Cera and Kat Dennings. Cute movie, a bit like Juno but lighter. Also rented Mamma Mia! So Meryl Streep and Pierce Brosnan might not have the best vocals, but they did well. And it made me laugh a bit to picture Pierce in his Bond suit, singing ABBA's "SOS". =P

Here's to a healthier holiday,
Priss

Life Imitating Art

2009-05-25T09:22:00.001+07:00

I’m starting to think I’m a little bit psychic.

Yeah.

Or maybe just the sort of writer that draws a lot from experience. =P

Here are some proofs:

Art: One of my characters, who aspired to be a doctor, failed her Biology class in high school. Therefore, she couldn’t get into the university she wanted and became a teacher instead. I wrote this story in junior high.

Life: I don’t want to be, but I suck at Biology in high school. And I didn’t get into the university I wanted. I seriously hoped the career part isn’t going to happen though. God knows I make the worst teacher.

Art: Another character in my fanfictions is the only daughter of a famous Dragon Keeper, hailed as the best in the world. He wanted her to follow in his footsteps, but she refused because she had a traumatic experience with dragons. But her father pulled some strings and, through a series of circumstances, she went to Romania to study dragons. It’s a completely foreign country for her, and she’s in for a ride.

Life: Well, thankfully my father didn’t do any of those things, though he did want me to follow in his footsteps, which I, too, refused to do. But the foreign country part is true. I mean, I’ve never even been to Australia before, and that’s where I’m going to study in October. *panics*

I guess those may just be a series of coincidence, and I’m reading way too much into this, but there is one more thing. It’s a big aspect of my writing that was never supposed to come true, yet it is suddenly coming true. I won’t mention it because it’s too personal, but a friend once pointed out to me that it’s the one thing that almost all of my stories have in common.

I mentioned this to my Mum and she laughed and said, “Stop writing then.” Which will never happen, obviously. But I’ll definitely be more careful about what I write in the future. :P

Catching Up and an Announcement

2009-05-18T15:17:00.003+07:00

I feel a little bad about neglecting this blog, especially since I'm the one who usually nags everyone to update. =P But I'm on a limited internet connection which has to last until the next of the month, so yeah... Oh, and I'm currently addicted to Potter's World, a RPG forum. It's crazy fun, but I'll explain all about it when I have the time. I'm playing a guy character though, which is challenging and exciting at the same time.

Anyway, went on a farewell trip with my class last week. It was fun, for the most part. Sometimes it was boring too, but I didn't regret going. I had fun in BNS, the amusement park. Laughed a lot and played a lot. Slept with five other girls in the villa. There were only two beds, so we divided into two and slept like sandwiches. My back hurt the first night - I couldn't move at all throughout the night - but we made some changes the second night and I slept better. For whatever reasons, Lidwina had to sleep in the living room, on the couch, though. Sorry, Mak! =P We also had an incident with our bathrooms, but I don't want to explain that. Let's just say it was not pretty.

The second night was a bit more solemn. We sat in circle and talked one by one about what we felt for the last two years. There was one love confession, and two hinted ones. Some girls cried, and we all apologized to each other. Well, not all. I didn't apologize to some people. One because I didn't really want to, but mostly it was because I didn't really walk around to find everyone. I was a little surprised when Erlin approached me especially to apologize, but I guess I wasn't very discreet when I get annoyed by her. I kinda feel bad about that. It's not like I hate her; I like her. She's just a tad annoying at times, but who isn't, right?

Anyway, here's the big announcement: I'm officially an NUS reject. It blows, really, but I sort of cried ahead of time, so when I actually heard the news, I didn't feel so down. My parents sort of laughed it off and said it was fine, but I still feel like this huge disappointment. Bah. Now I'm worried about is coming to Melbourne in October.

Funny thing is, I visited a fortune teller booth in the amusement park. She said financially I'm going to have to pay something I don't really wanna pay for, but it'd result in something much better. I wonder if that was the Melbourne thing. I hope so.

She also said I need to live healthier (Hah!) since I catch seasonal disease easily. She's right. AND she also said I'm going to meet someone who, in a short time, will be my boyfriend. Said he's going to be one of those laidback guys who doesn't fall in love so easily. Cool. I know we're not supposed to really believe in those fortune telling stuff, but I've only been to a fortune teller twice, and both were pretty spot on. So yeah, maybe it's me being superstitious. But then again, you probably can't love Harry Potter and Charmed and not believe in magic, whatever form it takes. =)

cleaning and fun stuff

2009-05-08T13:35:00.004+07:00

Now that school is over, I'm emptying out my desk. It feels sooo good. Bye bye Math, sayonara Biology, bon voyage Chemistry! Hopefully I'll never see you again, except Math perhaps. In any case, I'm not going to open any sort of text books for the next month!

Anyway, it's high time I clean up life too. But I'll tell you about it when I know exactly what I want to do.

So, yesterday I went out with Michelle to watch Monsters vs. Aliens (in 3d!) We were supposed to be a threesome, but Anita had a date, so it was just us. Would have asked Margareth or Stella, but neither of them was a fan of animation, or hanging out for that matter. =P But! It turned out that Michelle's sister and a friend wanted to tag along, and my sister wanted to see the movie.

And then we were five.

Since Michelle had this class meeting for their farewell party, Anita and I waited in the library. We talked. Like, really talked. I haven't had a proper conversation with Anita and Michelle, so it was great. I told her about my dreams and laughed our heads off throughout that conversation. We talked about long-distance relationships too. (Freakily enough, when I checked my email afterward, I had this newsletter from 123greetings and the title was: Mother's Day, Long-Distance Relationship, and Bride at 60. Omens, anyone?)

So, after Michelle's meeting was done, we went to Shinjuku so Anita and Michelle could get their blue extension put in. Then we returned to school to drop off Anita, and then we went to Sutos.

We ate at Frankfurter Hotdog for lunch. Michelle and I have a craving for it (the very reason we didn't cancel in the first place) and I'm glad we went. I haven't had bratwurst in a long time, and it was delicious! And so... filing. I was stuffed to the brim. I probably need to go on a diet, but... meh.

The movie itself is okay. The plot's predictable, but animation has a certain charm to it, and it was funny listening to Dr. Cockroach and keep thinking, "That's House!". =D And it was the first 3D movie I've seen (not counting the ones in amusement parks), so it was cool.

Took some pics. *thinks she should just start a bathroom photos collection, like Ellen DeGeneres and her Bathroom Concerts*

Anyway, back to cleaning!

Follow the signs

2009-05-05T11:26:00.007+07:00

Had the weirdest yet most coherent dream last night. It's rare, so I remembered the details. I feel silly explaining it (it was that weird) so let's just say it got me thinking. I've had a similar dream not a long time ago; different, but I woke up feeling exactly the same. Maybe it's a sign?

Or maybe I'm reading too much Paulo Coelho. Fic Clique May is The Alchemist, so I'm picking it up again. It's a beautiful book about realizing your destiny. There's a quote that I love in there that I can't find right now, but it goes something like: when you really want something, the whole universe conspires to help you reach it. It's true for the boy in the book; he found omens along the way to guide him to the right direction. Maybe it's true for me too, only I never pay attention in signs. =/

I don't know, really. I probably just need to talk to someone about it.

On a lighter note, one more exams and school is over for good. And I love Kelly Clarkson's new album! Whyyawannabringmedown is my least fave, but overall I love it. ^_^ And Demi Lovato is surprisingly good too. Much better than her Camp Rock songs, though I did like This Is Me. =P

Graphics!

2009-04-30T10:06:00.003+07:00

I love it when they turn out better than I expected. =P Tell me if the icons are gallery-worthy. I had the hardest time just trying to get the colors right. The original screencaps are really dark. But I got to learn about selective coloring and stuff, so I won't complain.

I haven't entered a banner challenge in a while, so I thought I'd give it a shot. To be honest, Amanda Bynes and William Moseley aren't exactly my favorite, but I do like them a lot. ^_^

Having Fun

2009-04-29T10:45:00.004+07:00

So I've been watching one DVD after another, downloading songs after songs, writing/reviewing/editing stories, and photoshopping until my eyes blur. Ah, the joy of holiday. =P

DVDs: After endless searching, I finally got a copy of A Walk to Remember and The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants. Yay! A Walk to Remember is definitely one of my favourite movies of all time, and The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants just fits so well with what I'm going through these days that it made me cry and laugh at all the right moments.

But looking back now I feel like our lives changed because they had to, and that the real magic of the pants was in bearing witness to all of this and in somehow holding us together when it felt like nothing would ever be the same again.
Some things never would be
But we know now that no matter how far we traveled on our own separate paths...
Somehow we would always find out way back to each other.
And with that, we could get through anything.
To us. Who we were, and who we are. And who we'll be.
To the pants.
And the sisterhood.
And this moment, and the rest of our lives.
Together and apart.

I've been quoting that line everywhere. The sequel is great too. Recommended if you're a girl and thinks life is changing way too fast.

Oh, Marley and Me = awesomeness. I bawled like a baby at the end, but it's got some funny moments too. If you've ever loved a dog, you'll most likely love this movie too.

Songs: Downloaded A Walk to Remember soundtrack (Switchfoot is awesome here, and I do like Mandy Moore) and Kris Allen's version of Falling Slowly. He might not win American Idol, but I adore his voice, especially if he sings ballads like this one. ^_^ Still looking for Adam's last performance, but I can't find it anywhere. =/

Stories: Well, I've made a promise to do NaNoWriMo this year (for those who don't know what it is, it's about writing 50k words in a month). I still don't know whether I'd do it in November or July, but either way I'm doing it.

Photoshop: Who knew making a 100x100 icon can be such a pain? I'll post results when I manage to actually make some.

Life After the Nationals

2009-04-26T18:31:00.005+07:00

...is simply wonderful so far. =P

It's a bit strange not having to rush back to my desk and cram a thousand information about Bio or Chem or Physics and being able to laze around and be on the computer all day long, but it's a very welcomed change. =)

Celebrated the last day of the exams by going out with Anita, Michelle, and Imelda. We watched Race to Witch Mountain. Awesome movie, definitely recommended. Anita was on the edge of her seat the whole time, which was pretty funny to watch alongside the movie. =P

Pictures in Wendy's...

Oh, here's the quiz thing Thania and Chacha asked me to do:

what is your current obsession?
Taylor Swift. And American Idol. Hahaha....
what is your weirdest obsession?
Can't think of any right now. Maybe arranging all my CDs in alphabetical order?
what are you wearing today?
white top and jeans.
what's for dinner today?
haven't had one. Probably something my mom cooks. ^_^
why is today special?
because it's a holiday!!!
what would you like to learn to do?
be less paranoid and believe that I actually have talents. Oh, and to cook a decent meal.
what's the last thing you bought?
A Walk to Remember and The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants DVDs
what are you listening to right now?
Kris Allen - Falling Slowly *swoons*
what is your favourite weather?
Sunny, but not so much that it burns, with enough breeze.
what's your most challenging goal right now?
write one short story each month and actually send them to magazines.
what do you think about the person who tagged you?
chacha: funny. :D Thania: probably one of the most outspoken girls I'll ever be friends with, and the only one who cursed that I'd ever stand. (She doesn't curse anymore though ;))
if you could have a house totally paid for, fully furnished anywhere in the world, where would you like it to be?
London! Well, maybe not London, but somewhere in England.
what would you like to have in your hands right now?
The NUS announcement (which apparently still has to be waited for until the end of May)
what would you like to get rid of?
Bad hair days.
if you could go anywhere in the world for the next hour, where would you go?
visit Feli in Seattle. I wanna check out that new apartment! =D
which language do you want to learn?
Chinese. Germany.
what do you look for in a friend?
Someone who will take me for who I am and will still love me even when I'm unloveable.
who do you want to meet in person?
JK Rowling! Meg Cabot!
what's your favourite colour?
Purple.
what's the favourite piece of clothing in your own closet?
My little black dress.
what is your dream job?
Author.
any favourite models?
Heidi Klum, I guess. She's just so sweet.
if you had $100 now what would you spend it on?
On laptop's equipment, I guess. And maybe birthday presents for several family members.
favourite designer?
None.
fashion pet peeve?
Micro mini.
do you admire anyone's style?
None that I can think of.
describe your personal style
Casual, simple.
what are you going to do after this?
take a bath. Hahaha...

The Rules:
1. respond and rework; answer the questions on your blog, replace one question that you dislike with a question of your invention, add one more question of your own.
2. tag eight other people:
a. Amanda
b. Yuni
c. Stella
d. Margareth
e. Claudia

(that's not eight, but I can't think of anyone else. If you want to do it, go ahead. =D)

Two down...

2009-04-20T15:15:00.002+07:00

I am sooo tired. And this is only the first day of the finals. *sighs* That is why I'm here, despite my internet diet. I need to relax, even if it's only for fifteen minutes.

Well, at least today turned out better than I expected. Indonesian went well; I made some silly mistakes, but I think it could get an 80 minimum. =p Got a little stressed during Biology. The first time I went through all 40 questions, I could only answer 10. I tried it again, thinking "At least let me answer half of this." And it got better. Though I kept counting how many questions I possibly got wrong even after I finished it. I estimated around 16. =/

Thania was all frustrated too. I could tell by the way she kept tossing her eraser around. :P She was near tears when we got out of the class. (Than, if you're reading this, you will not fail!) I was feeling all frustrated too, but we and Stella and Elien started comparing answers and it seemed that I did better than I thought. Yay. ^_^

It's English tomorrow. I'm going to study right after this so I can have some time for Math, which is on Wednesday and one of my three most dreaded subjects. =/ Wish me luck!

Change Is Good for the Soul

2009-04-16T13:53:00.003+07:00

I finally picked a new template. This was actually my last option. The first one didn't work and the second looked too empty, though I did love the header. But I like this one too. Chasing Cars is a great song. ^_^ What do you think? Of the template, not the song. =p

This might be my last post on this blog until next week as the internet diet thing takes place. I'm going to stick to it like a glue. It might give me a chance to write in between studying too. After the finals, I'll finish betaing chapters, my (very, very long) review thread, and updating! Oh, and then I'll worry about uni. Though I'm still worrying now. =/ I might have a girl's night out with my friends too, but we haven't talked about it much. I haven't talked to them much, in fact, thanks to different classes and the craziness that is finals.

Anyway, there's a new subforum in SAYS' Fic Clique which discusses books. I'm one of the three mods responsible for it, and I'm having a blast. ^_^ This month we're discussing The Chronicles of Narnia. Come over and join the discussion!

Just Another Day

2009-04-14T12:58:00.003+07:00

One week left to the national exams! I'm starting to get really worried. =/ Definitely gonna go on an internet and TV diet starting Thursday. =p

Today's tests went alright. At least, I'm confident with Indonesian. Math... not so much. I was feeling good while doing it. It wasn't as bad as the last tryout, at least. But then I compared my answers with my friends and didn't feel as good anymore. *sighs*

Currently listening to a lot of Idol's songs. My top 5 is Adam, Danny, Allison, Kris, and Anoop. Yes, Anoop hasn't been very consistent. But when he's good, he's good. ^_^

Also loving Miley Cyrus' The Climb. It's the perfect song for what I'm going through right now.

There's always gonna be another mountain
I'm always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose
Ain't about how fast I get there
Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side
It's the climb

Back (to real life)

2009-04-13T09:43:00.002+07:00

School starts tomorrow.

Huh.

Actually studied on the train ride yesterday, though it might not be a good idea to study with your headset on and a screaming kid across the aisle. Still, I got some studying done, so it was better than nothing.

Grandma is driving me crazy!!! This is one of the reasons why I don't look forward to being back here, and why I want to graduate and move across the ocean as soon as possible. I'm so sick of being bossed around and treated like a kid. Why can't I have those grandmas who cook brownies and remember how old you actually are and don't make snide, annoying comments while you're watching your favorite shows (When AI is on and she sees Randy, she'll go, "Is that an earring? Tsk." Bla bla bla bla. This happens almost everytime AI is on.). Not to be disrespectful, but could you just let me enjoy the show?

I try to be nice most of the time, but when you're already in a bad mood, it's hard to bite your tongue and not say something snarky.

I'd rant more, but I don't think that would be a good idea, so moving on...

I'm officially an artist. Well, not really. I made a gallery in this site and got some feedback. Will work more on it after the national exams are over. Wanna see it? Don't really know if you can without being a member, but here's the link anyway: Dancing in the Storm

See you guys in school tomorrow!

Feeling Guilty

2009-04-08T15:33:00.002+07:00

...about not studying.

It's not like I don't study at all. I do. Just not for the entire day. I spend the morning and afternoon doing whatever I want, and then fill the night with studying. But I keep seeing my friends talk about studying all the time, everyday, and I feel like I should be doing the same.

Gah. I should stop making excuses and having fun, and start drowning myself in books and revisions.

I guess I'm just fed up with studying, and a little edgy since I still haven't heard from NUS. I don't want to lose hope, but...

lollygagging

2009-04-07T12:53:00.003+07:00

I think it means being lazy. Which is exactly what I am right now. :P

I did study. Though how much actually made it into my brain is to be questioned. :p I've spent most of today's morning online, trying to find a new skin for this blog. Can't find anything I liked though. =/

Anyway, Tipsy strike again.
That's Dad's magazine, a brand new one. He still hasn't come home, so I'm not sure how he'll react. With anger, I'm sure.

Gotta go. The folks are home. And I'm hungry.

Home Sweet Home

2009-04-06T14:09:00.005+07:00

I'm home! And currently loving it.

Right now, I'm not studying. I will though. Tonight. This is only the first day of holiday, so I'm giving myself a moment of fun. But I will study.

Anyway...

Seeing Tipsy again kinda scared me at first. Especially after getting used to Mickey who is all kind of sweet and quiet. I mean, last I saw her (in January), she bit anything she could reach, she was small but rambunctious.

Now, well, she's tall! Her legs look like they went on forever, and when she jumps (which she does a lot now) she could reach my shoulder. You probably can't really see it in the picture, but I can't take the ones with her standing because she always runs after me whenever I try. =P

Honestly, she looks more like a deer than a dog. =P But she's so funny. She's so hyperactive that when you tell her to wait for her food, she'll sit down and her entire body will shake, like she's trying so hard not to jump up and grab the food of your hand.

She may not be the world's cutest dog, but she's adorable. ^_^

The Colour of March

2009-04-01T10:16:00.001+07:00

March began with two of my best friends getting a boyfriend. It was all wonderful, and pretty funny, since all four of my friends got together with their boyfriends in March. We dubbed it our month of love.

And then March ends with another two of my best friends breaking up with their boyfriends. On the same day.

But that is not my story to tell. *channeling Aslan*

Here’s my story: I feel like there are these thin fracture lines on me and at any moment I could just crack into a million little pieces. Everything I have learnt in the past three years just swam around in my head and I can’t seem to fish out the necessary information when I need them. It really sucks because I do need to get at least 75 on it, and I can’t imagine not graduating. I’d rather die.

*sighs* There goes my monster again. One of these days I might just name her, like Beyonce and Sasha Fierce.

Moving on to a lighter subject, my parents bought me a watch yesterday. It’s a cute piece from Swatch, silver with a streak of pink and three little butterflies dangling from the band. They said it would last longer than my old watches – it should; it was a lot more expensive – and I could bring it when I start college.

(I was going to type ‘when I move to Singapore’ and thought better of it. Better not to count my eggs before they hatch.)

I’ve already got myself a potential roommate if I move to Singapore. Amanda already secured a scholarship from NAFA, and it’s a good idea to start a new life with a friend around, so yeah. She’s going to be my roommate. Of course, there’s the matter of picking an apartment that would suit us both, but that will have to wait until I hear from NUS. I keep reminding myself that there’s a big possibility they would say no, and I don’t want to watch my plans fall apart, so I try not to get too excited about it right now.

Still, The Secret said it’s a good idea to keep picturing what you want and being grateful for it as if you already had it, so I keep picturing myself living in Singapore. It worked once, it could work again.

If

2009-04-01T10:15:00.001+07:00

If I could tell you my dreams,

I would paint you the picture in my head

The clouds and the birds

All the colours of my world

If I could hide in your arms,

These monsters might never come back

My nights would be safe

And you would be there with me

If I put on a façade

Would you try to see through it?

When you see how flawed I am

Would you run away from me?

If I sang you my heart,

You might hear its broken tone

You might even have it memorized

But you won’t sing along with me

If this were the last road on earth

Would you take it with me?

Or would you go your own way?

Would you say goodbye?

If I keep guessing and asking,

Would I be answered somehow?

Is there a point in this?

Do you even hear me?

Twenty Five Things You May or May Not Know About Me

2009-04-01T10:14:00.004+07:00

1. I could get a tad obsessive about things

2. I’m a dog person, but I’m afraid of the big, scary ones. :P

3. I’m addicted to HPFF and SAYS.

4. I forgive, but never forget.

5. If I get really, really quiet and wouldn’t talk to you, it’s because I’m trying not to get mad at you.

6. I want to be a published author someday, but I’m afraid I don’t have the chops for it.

7. I like blogging, but old fashion lock-and-key diary works best for me. :D

8. I look really haughty and cold, but honestly I’m just too shy to start a conversation.

9. I’m a lurker.

10. I prefer emails over IMs.

11. I don’t swear. Occasionally I do when I’m really upset, but I’m just not comfortable doing it.

12. I’m a procrastinator.

13. I have the tendency to bite more than I can chew.

14. I only sing when no-one is around. Otherwise, I lip-synch. :p

15. My favourite authors are JK Rowling, Jodi Picoult, and Meg Cabot. Not necessarily in that order

16. I’m addicted to American Idol.

17. I over-analyze everything.

18. I seems to be calm and collected, but I’m actually really panicky.

19. I scored 30/30 on the Writing section on my TOEFL (Test of English as First Language) *woohoo*

20. I get a bit annoyed when people misspell my name. It’s P-R-I-S-C-I-L-L-A.

21. I like taking personality quizzes.

22. I like doing surveys like this one. :P

23. I’m horrible with time management.

24. I don’t like candies, but I love chocolate. :D

25. I'm judgmental, and I'll be the first to admit it.

Last Day

2009-04-01T10:14:00.003+07:00

When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget

Three years seem to pass in a blink of an eye. All of the sudden it’s the last day of high school. We’ve still got exams before we get to graduations, but this was the last day I study in this class, in this school. My days as a high school kid is numbered, and I’m scared. I’m scared to think about whether or not I’ll get into NUS, whether or not these friends I’ve made are still going to be around when I’m gone, whether or not I’ll be able to survive ‘the real world’. As if this isn’t real.

I’m still praying that I get into NUS. I know my chances are slim, and there are people out there who are way way smarter than me, but I owe this to my parents, to myself. I’ve studied harder than I ever have, my parents have worked so hard every day and every night, and I don’t want to let anyone of us down. All these plans we’ve made, I want to live them.

Anyway, this wasn’t a bad last day. It was full of laughter, for one. Everyone was taking pictures with just about everyone; I don’t think anyone was that interested in the lessons today. :P *will post pics when I have more time* Some kids (coughstellacough) got a bit emotional when the teachers won’t stop reminding us that this was the last day they will be teaching us, and some kept regretting that we have to leave high school soon.

Me? I still don’t feel like this is goodbye. Maybe when they hand the diploma or when I stand in the airport, saying goodbye, that I would start getting emotional.

I mean, I’m a crier; I would tear up at sad movies, when Oprah is having a particularly heartfelt scene and I’m feeling all gooey, when I get a horrible grades…. Hell, I even tear up when I watch the first half of HSM 3. But I didn’t shed a single tear when I said goodbye to Feli, not even when everyone else was bawling their eyes out. It wasn’t that I wasn’t upset about it, I guess it’s more that I’ve prepared for the goodbyes long before we actually say it, so long in fact that I didn’t feel the need to cry anymore when it actually happened. Maybe it’s going to be the same when I graduate.

I don’t know.

The highlights of my high school years: making it into the science class (though it turns out to be much harder than I suspected), getting a spot in the writer’s workshop and then getting my short stories published, my seventeenth birthday, making seventeenth birthday surprises and presents for Michelle, Anita, Feli, and Stella, the first half of eleventh grade – when ignorance was total bliss, choosing colleges and discussing majors with my friends – a discussion that felt like it would never end, studying for the university entrance test – not the actual studying, but the constant support from my wonderful friends, and the day my parents gave their full blessing for my choice of major and gaining their confidence in my ability to write.

There are thousands more, little moments and jokes that would always make me smile, but these are my favourites. Hopefully there are more of those where I’m going.

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

award!

2009-03-23T16:40:00.003+07:00

Got two awards from Chacha! Thanks girl. ^_^ It's called neno's award.

The aims of this award:
• As a dedication for those who love blogging activity and love to encourage friendships through blogging.
• To seek the reasons why we all love blogging!

Here are the rules of the award:
• Put the award in one post as soon as you receive it.
• Don’t forget to mention the person who gives you the award.
• Answer the award’s question by writing the reason why you love blogging.
• Tag and distribute the award to as many people as you like.
• Don’t forget to notify the award receivers and put their links in your post.

Why i love blogging: Simple: I love writing. Been writing for a looong time, and blogging is helping me getting into the habit of writing daily. I used to have a lock-and-key diary - still do - but blog is more fun in that your friends can leave comments and stuff. :p Now with graduation drawing closer, it could also be a way to keep in touch with my friends. ^_^

Second award!

Giving it to Margareth and Clodd. =D Keep blogging, girls!

Remember

2009-03-22T17:45:00.002+07:00

When you think of the time
We spend growing up together
Do you find it dull?
Or do you still laugh at the jokes we made?

If I see you ten years from now,
Would you think I’m silly
for bringing up the jolly old times?
Or would you smile tenderly at them?

Remember that striped pants I had?
That crazy magenta shade of your hair?
The tears we cried, the broken hearts?
The songs we sang, the wide-eyed wonders?

When I see you ten years from now,
I’ll recall every ordinary miracles we made,
That frail hand you broke when we were three
And those mushy dreams we longed for

It’s time to fly, yet we’re holding on
To the precious past and the wild hope
That we shouldn’t leave this place
That we can stay the same forever

I won’t cry and you shouldn’t
I’ll see you again before the ten years end
And even if you forget how funny we could be
I’ll remember, forever.

This was sort of dedicated to my best friends, though not everyone read it, but I did think of them while writing this. :P Don't laugh, okay?

Thank you!

2009-03-20T16:51:00.002+07:00

To my awesome friends, thank you so much for the present! I was so not expecting it, and I really love it. So thank you again, I’m definitely going to use them. *hugs*

the presents!

That was definitely the highlight of the day, since it was fairly ordinary. But it was a good day though, despite the fact that the tryout marks are announced and mine are totally pathetic. Still, today is a good day so far.

I really need to get a better grade, or I might just kiss my Trinity Fast Track year goodbye. So I proposed a studying session/challenge to Amanda, Stella, and Margareth. Each day we’re going to pick a subject and a certain number of questions to be answered. The next day we’re going to compare the result, and whoever fails to reach the goal will have to treat us with that crunchy mushroom snack in the cafeteria. We’re doing Physics today, which is one of my better subjects, I think, but it’s still a struggle.

This is going to be fun. And I’m not being sarcastic. Not really.

Trying something new…

2009-03-19T16:03:00.002+07:00

Like songwriting. Not exactly now, since I tried it before (and failed brilliantly at it) but I thought I could give it a go one more time.

I honestly don’t see myself as a poet or a lyricist. I suck at rhyming, I don’t have a clue about composing songs, and I don’t know the first thing about haikus or sonnets and all that jazz. But ever since Feli moved and SAYS put up the Poetry Prompts section, I’ve been rediscovering the poet in me. A bit rusty at it, and a good amount of what I came up with won’t even see the light of day, but I’m pretty proud about some of them. Getting good feedbacks made me feel more comfortable too. =D

I learned some things when I started showing people my poetries:

One: They reveal a lot more than you wanted to

With prose, you get to hide behind the characters, the setting, the plot. With poetry, there’s nothing to hide you. I believe all my writing has a piece of me in them, whether it’s a past experience or a wistful thinking, but it’s not all me. It wouldn’t be interesting if it was. :P My poetries, especially the later ones, are more about me: my life, what I want, what I feel, etc etc. That is probably why I’m more comfortable with showing them to my online friends than to my best friends, who are more than likely to know in an instant what or who I was talking about.

Two: For me, simplicity is the way to go

I don’t do fancy. Can’t. I try, but when I do write a poem, what comes from the heart – unedited – is usually the best. Guess I’m more Taylor Swift than Paramore, though I wouldn’t mind being Paramore sometimes. =D

So all in all, I like writing poetries. But I’m not as confident with them as I am with my stories. So yes, I’m not going to post them here. Not until I’m really sure about them. ^_^

Photoshopping

2009-03-16T18:47:00.002+07:00

Compare these:

The one on the top is the one I made for a challenge, but I never posted it because I didn’t finish it on time. The pretty one on the bottom is the one the_tofubeaver made for my story, A Bargain for the Heart. She finished that in a day. And it’s so perfect for the story. I wish I could make something like that, and I have been learning.

But I’m not an artist to begin with. I suck at Art; I barely get by when I have to do the class. I’m beginning to think that words are my only medium. T.T

That is my latest graphic, made for Graphic Challenge #16: Make a signature for your story in SAYS. Haven’t touched Photoshop for a while, so it took me sometimes to get this right. Still think I could make it better, but every time I change it, it just gets worse. I like it though; it turns out better than I expected.

Still, it’s not that different from the ones I’ve made before. The person is always on the side, never in the middle. The text is in a straight line, never curved. I don’t know how to make it monochrome without making it look washed out or strange looking. My graphics are simple, and I’m beginning to think this is about as good as it gets.

But maybe that’s alright. Maybe simple is my thing, or maybe once I do more tutorials or meddle around with Photoshop more, I’ll learn to do all those things I can’t do right now.

We’ll see.

What Kind of A Bride Will You Be?

2009-03-13T15:50:00.003+07:00

Lovely Lady

You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim maybe is to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are uniqe and rare!

Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner! :D

I say this is 99% accurate, though I wont' say the same for the grammar. :p I seriously hope the part where it says "People will trample on your soul... They will play on you" is not true.

Boring Day

2009-03-13T15:18:00.002+07:00

I’m posting this from Windows Live Writer, downloaded yesterday. Hopefully this works. ^_^

So today is…kinda boring. The headmaster (who is also a priest) is upset with our class and two other classes because some of the kids were talking between themselves while he was preaching during the mass yesterday. He actually walked down from the altar and approached them, asking, “What are you laughing at?”

And he smacked them. On the head.

Probably wasn’t that hard, but still…

Our detention is this: no teacher is to enter our class, there would be no lesson for us until we change our attitude and learn to have some respect.

It was pretty tense, mostly because I’ve never actually seen him mad. I’ve heard of some mass-related incidents – from which detentions were always given to the students involved – and my sister’s class actually got the same punishment as mine do, but it only lasted for a day.

Well, it’s been two for my class and it doesn’t look like it’s about to change tomorrow. To make amends for our ‘sin’, we had to have another mass tomorrow. At 6.25 am. Which isn’t that big of a deal, actually – since I always arrive around that time – but that means I have to be really sure we wouldn’t be late. *sighs*

You might think an entire day at school without any lesson is cool. It is, for the first day. The second day…not so much. My class was super loud; I could hear them even after I plugged on my headset and turned it up. There wasn’t much to be done, either. I worked on my Religion assignment and then studied Chemistry, but I spent most of my time talking to Margareth. ^_^

Speaking of Mag, pictures!!

I didn’t take many, because I didn’t really know the others and Stel and Mag are the only ones who were excited enough to take a bunch of pics. =P Stella took some pictures of the couples too, paparazzi style.

She was so good, they didn’t even realize it. =D

Saw this quote: A best friend will tell you, "I freaking love you!" in front of everyone and won't care if they think you're a lesbian. Lol.

weekend recap

2009-03-10T15:10:00.003+07:00

Saturday - went to TP with the girls to celebrate our birthdays (Michelle's, mine, and Anita's). It was a bit weird at first, considering that they all brought their boyfriends - Mag/Hansel, Anita/Tommy, Michelle/Andrew, Jerry/Grace - but it was alright. We ate at XO Suki, watched Pink Panther, and talked a bit. The problem with hanging out in a large group is that you don't get to really talk to one another. You joke, pass the food around, and make small talks, but that's all there is. I'm more of a small-gathering sort of girl, so it was just okay for me.

Took some pics, but they're still in Mag's phone. I'll post them when I get them.

Sunday - bathed Mickey. Poor thing was shivering the whole time, but he didn't try to run or bite. He stood quite still until we finished, and then he shook the water all off on us. =P

Monday - had an elegant breakfast courtesy of my mom. Omelette, french toast, bacon, she made them all. Then Dad showed me how to cook veggies; first lesson out of many, I suspect. But it was sort of fun. Times with Dad are always fun when he's in a good mood.

Anyway, took another quiz today: Your Passion Style.

You mix passion with pragmatism

Key Traits: open, sensitive, balanced, empathetic, loyal, thoughtful
Introspective and self-aware, you have a solid grip on your emotions. Your
friends and family consider you "the rock" they can turn to and lean on during
tough times. Part of that trust comes from the fact that you always try your
best to say what you mean and mean what you say. This is part of your healthy
outlook on life, love and work. Hard work is important, but remember to listen
to your instinct when it tells you to take a step back and enjoy the quiet
moments. There are certain things that you will always be passionate about,
whether it's a certain cuisine, a type of music, or a particular sport. On the
flipside, there are also things that will never interest you. But that's OK.
Your romantic partner appreciates your unwavering sensibility, your balanced
temperament, and consistent signs of love and care.

No idea how true that is. What do you think?

Personality quizzes

2009-03-06T15:47:00.002+07:00

I used to take them religiously, but not so much anymore. Guess I got to know myself a bit better, I don't need them telling me what kind of a person I am. Still, they're fun, and sometimes surprise me. Like this one:

Dr. Phil's Personality Test:

The Lively Center of Attention - Others see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not one to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.

(Me? Center of attention? Right.)

And just to clear things up: I do not have a boyfriend. I'm not falling for anyone. No one is falling for me. We're friendssss. Let's not make it out to be something that it isn't, yeah? ^_^

Mickey

2009-03-04T11:44:00.004+07:00

And so we talked all night ‘bout the rest of our life
Where we’re gonna be when we turn 25
I keep, keep thinking times will never change
Keep on thinking that'll always be the same
- Graduation (Friends Forever) – Vitamin C

I’m listening to the mix CD I made for my best friends, and I can’t help feeling a bit sad. I’ve known some of these girls since junior high, and I can’t imagine being without them. We’re all going to go overseas for college, and though we can always keep in touch through the internet, it won’t be the same. They’re the only ones who understand what I’m talking about when I say fanfiction. :P

It might be years before I would see them in person again. We always joke about how we’ll see each other ten years from now and we’ll be all shocked at how we have all changed. :D I just hope this friendship won’t be just another chapter of my life though; I want it to last for the whole story.

On a lighter note...

I have a new dog!

Mickey

I got him by coincidence. Last Sunday, we were going to take my sister to her piano exam when suddenly this little dog bolted into our house, crawled under the car, and refused to budge. It took us almost an hour to persuade him to come out. We suspect he was dognapped, because there was this suspicious-looking guy in front of the house, claiming Mickey (as we decided to call him) was his. But when we told him to call the dog, he refused and left. I think he was the dognapper.

Either way, Mickey's living in our house now. He's still a bit jumpy, but he likes to snuggle up to me now. Which is so cute and adorable, but I end up smelling like him. :P My aunt makes it clear that he's mine and my sister's; we're the one responsible for him. It's a tad harder than I thought, but it's kinda fun. ^_^

wish list

2009-02-23T18:16:00.004+07:00

As requested, here is my wishlist as posted on Facebook. Keep in mind these are just for fun, and I don't really want or need any of them. :P I wouldn't object if you get them from me, but don't go out of your way. ^_^

The Host - Stephenie Meyer
Before Midnight: A Retelling of Cinderella - Cameron Dokey
Belle: A Retelling of Beauty and the Beast - Cameron Dokey
Fearless - Taylor Swift (DONE!)
David Cook - David Cook (DONE!)
Grey's Anatomy: The Complete Fourth Season
Brothers and Sisters: The Complete Second Season

The problem is what I really want can't be bought. I want to get to NUS, I want to graduate high school with good grades, and I want to be at peace with myself. I want to finally finish my novel and get somewhere with my writing. Seems like a lot to ask, doesn't it?

Hopefully I'll get them anyway though...

weight off my shoulder

2009-02-20T20:55:00.004+07:00

These past few days had been hell for me. Heck, it had been hell for everyone. The preparation for the play demanded much more time and energy than I thought and, more than once, I wanted nothing more than to bite someone's head off or crawl under my cover and not wake up. I was this close to be the bitch who would not hesitate tell her sick friend to suck it up and come to practice no matter what. I was tense, short-tempered, panicky, and probably hated (and was hated by) some of my own teammates.

In short, the monster reared its ugly head.

But it's all over. We performed this morning; had to wait for almost an hour for the sound guy to arrive (I had no idea if he ever arrived or not, but I still think we paid them for nothing), Margareth had several accidents, and the music was all wrong toward the end (I should've made sure Stella knew her cue), but it turned out pretty okay. Whatever. All that matters is that it's all over now.

YAY!!

On a lighter note, I'm eighteen now. Doesn't feel that different than being seventeen, but we'll see. ;) I had an okay birthday. Mum cooked the whole day, and we had to go shopping for the ingredients which was pretty fun. Dad was in a good mood the whole weekend too, which is always a good thing, and he cooked too. And I got to eat ice cream both times we went out. I'm happily stuffed.

I didn't get any gifts, but it's alright. I can't think of anything I want that you could buy here (though I do have a wish list up on Facebook, but most of them are frivolous things), and my friends are way too busy to put together something special, so I totally understand. =) Mum said she'd buy me a pair of real earrings, unlike the plastic ones I currently own, and maybe some of the things I might need when I actually leave for uni, wherever that may be.

Which reminded me that this might be my last birthday here. *sighs*

Oh well, at least it was a good one.

love songs marathon

2009-02-15T13:47:00.003+07:00

A day late, but I finally narrowed down my list of favorite love songs. In random order:

The Way - Clay Aiken
Because You Live - Jesse McCartney
You Found Me - Kelly Clarkson
What Makes You Different - Backstreet Boys
Things I'll Never Say - Avril Lavigne
Everything I Have - Clay Aiken
I'd Lie - Taylor Swift
Best of Me - Blue
Some Hearts - Carrie Underwood
Bubbly - Colbie Caillat
Realize - Colbie Caillat
Always Be My Baby - David Cook
I Won't Say (I'm In Love) [The Hercules soundtrack version]
Take My Breath Away - Emma Bunton
Why Can't I - Liz Phair
True- Ryan Cabrera
Come What May - Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman

There are lots more, but these are the songs I would never get tired of.

The highlight of my Valentine: chatting with Anita and Feli on msn. Teasing each other about guys, laughing and joking, talking about school... It's almost like Feli never left. Almost. =p But it was all fun. Though I pretend to be strong about it, it'd be horrible when we all have to leave for unis.

I realized something yesterday. If all my friends have boyfriends and I'm the only one who is single, it won't be the 'single' part that I will be worried about. I don't mind being single. It will be the part where they choose the boyfriends over the best friend, which I know from experience will happen at some point despite what they all say. But I guess I could understand. For some, it's studs over duds, and there's nothing I can do about that.

productive day

2009-02-13T20:24:00.002+07:00

So today after school, my group and I worked on our play again. We made the properties - basically messed around with a bunch of styrofoams and paints - and actually had some fun. We argued a bit at the beginning, but it worked out alright. Took some pictures too! Will post them when I get the chance.

It's Valentine's Day tomorrow! I haven't bought any chocolate, but I helped my sister bake her brownies and she's going to let me have some for my best friends. Yay! =D

I'm putting together a playlist of my favorite love songs, but I haven't finished it yet. Will post it tomorrow!

Have a lovely Valentine, everyone!

sick

2009-02-12T10:30:00.002+07:00

Had to go home from school early yesterday because of a bad stomachache, and then got a fever in the evening. Still sort of feverish this morning, so I'm skipping school today. I should be giving my speech right now, and it's probably a bad idea to stay home since I'd be the last one doing the speech, but I don't think it's a good idea to go with my head still all fuzzy like this.

At least I get to rest. I haven't fully rested since I got home from Jakarta. That's probably why I got sick: I'm exhausted and stressed. In fact, I couldn't sleep yesterday, worrying about the speech, Math test, the play... My brain just wouldn't rest until my mom told me it's okay if I want to stay home today. Then I slept like a rock.

Speaking of which, I should enjoy my freedom while it lasts. That is, if you can call being constantly called and nagged by your grandma freedom. Why do I have to be the nice kid - the one she's not afraid of bothering - eh?

Gonna go lock myself in my room so my grandmother can't bother me anymore. Gah.

Monday Blues

2009-02-09T17:04:00.000+07:00

NUS test is over at last. It’s a relief, and I don’t have to worry about it until April. I don’t know how well I did, but I don’t want to dwell on it. It’s done; I did the best that I could, and now I can only hope that my best is enough.

I would like to thank all of my wonderful friends for the well-wishes and the supports. It meant the world to me, and it kept me calm. Honestly, I didn’t panic at all during the tests. I got nervous before I entered the room and got a little scatterbrained during the essays, but I was calm. So thanks, you guys. I love you all. =) If I fail, give me a big hug and tell me it’s going to be fine, okay?

That might be over, but school is still as demanding as ever. I had two tests this morning, both of which I probably failed since I didn’t study at all yesterday. I got home at midnight and immediately hit the bed. I would’ve skipped school, but I didn’t want to have to take the tests alone, and Mum said it was okay if I failed this time. =P We’re going to perform the play and aerobic next week. Just thinking about all of the work we have to do exhausts me. Hopefully it won’t be as difficult as it seems to be.

tick, tick, tick

2009-02-06T14:26:00.003+07:00

I'm leaving for Jakarta in less than three hours. A little scared, but also strangely calm. Keep telling myself it's going to work out, but I keep picturing me sitting there, in the test room, frozen, while my heart races away. God, I hope that doesn't happen.

Finished packing half an hour again, but I'm going to check again. I tend to forget things when I'm all worried and nervous about something.

Pray for me?

SOS

2009-02-03T17:02:00.004+07:00

Days pass more quickly when you're expecting something scary to happen.

THREE MORE DAYS!!!

I'm trying very hard not to freak and focus on studying, but the more I think about it, the closer I am to screaming. But there's no time for a nervous breakdown right now. I can have one after the test is over, but at the moment I should put all of my energy into studying. Which might explain why I didn't do any better at Monday's Chem test than the previous. =/I've given up on the fun things, like writing and watching TV (though I make an exception for Idol. It's Hollywood week! And it's only an hour, right? If it's two, I swear I'll only watch the first hour).

Anyway, gotta get back to studying. =/ Wish me luck!

looked the part

2009-01-31T15:29:00.002+07:00

Yesterday was…exhilarating. We had our yearbook picture taken, and I… Well, I don’t think I look very pretty, but I did look the part. The theme was office, so I wore my plain white shirt (had to dig it out from the back of my wardrobe), my old black trousers, and my mum’s black jacket. I knew it would look rather plain, but I wasn’t about to ask my parents to buy me new clothes when they’re already spending so much on more important things.

Anyway, I looked like a career woman, the boss even, if you asked my classmates. They wouldn’t stop teasing me about it, though my friends were kind enough to tell me I looked good. Really office-y, but good. I knew I wasn’t going to look like a beauty queen anyway, and the pictures turned out well, so I was pretty happy about it. =)

Took some pics while I waited for my turn:

Margareth and me

Gaby and me

getting harder everyday

2009-01-28T15:57:00.004+07:00

I would love to get up in the morning, all bright and happy to start a new day, instead of curling up even more, feeling around for the snooze button. There's hardly anything to look forward to these days. All I could think of when I get up is, "What am I going to study today? Math, most likely. What's on TV today? Probably can't watch it. Gah." But still, I get up, find something good about the day, and move on with the routine. Maybe I just need to do something different, special, for myself. Get myself out of this rut.

I've taken up the challenge to read 50 books this year. So far I've read:

Maximum Ride: School's Out Forever - James Patterson
The Tales of Beedle the Bard - J.K Rowling
Confession of a Shopaholic - Sophie Kinsella (The book I read had Isla Fisher on the cover though)
Perfect Stranger - ... (I forgot who wrote this, but it's pretty good)

I've stopped reading novels routinely since eleventh grade. Maybe I should start again, that'll cheer me up a bit.

Yes, I'm a bookworm. If that isn't obvious already. =P

Busy busy busy

2009-01-22T15:53:00.001+07:00

This week feels like it would never end. Three exams in a row, the play getting graded tomorrow, homework, NUS… The list goes on. It seems like we’re not going to catch a break until Sunday and Monday, which is the Lunar New Year. Don’t think I’ll get loads of money this year, but hey, school’s out, so I’m not complaining.

Anyway, today is Michelle’s eighteenth birthday. The girls and I gave her the first present we bought together (practically raced to the bakery after school to be able to give it to her in time). Anita is planning on her own gift, and Mag, Stella, and I are planning some things too. One of them is going to take some time, but I’m sure I can finish it before we graduate. ^_^

Gah, I still need to work on my speech for the Indonesian exam. My topic is ‘Suicide among Teenagers’, but I’m thinking of changing it into ‘Depression’. Both are rather dark, but there’s a lot to talk about. I just need to do a bit of research first.

So looking forward to Sunday.

Lots and lots of studying

2009-01-18T15:32:00.003+07:00

It's Sunday, and I have not gone to the malls. I haven't sat in front of the computer or the tv for more than an hour. Instead, I have been chained to my desk, studying like my life depends on it. Now that the excitement is gone, I'm all anxious and worried about the test. It's only three weeks away. THREE WEEKS. And I have to study Economy, Geography, and History.

the mess that is my desk

I'm freaking out a little bit here. I mean, I haven't studied two of those three since tenth grade! And the lessons, especially for Geography and History, are different from what I've learnt. Though, in all honesty, the History book is rather interesting to read. It's like reading a story. Did you know that Singapore and Malaysia once merged together and formed a country, but eventually parted ways because of racial conflicts? Indonesia opposed to the merger, even had a group called the Indonesian Confrontation that sabotaged Singapore by violent acts. The Confrontation only ended when Suharto became President.

Seriously, it isn't that boring. Geography is, though. And Economy isn't so bad, but I do hate having to study it all over again. =/

OMG

2009-01-16T18:38:00.002+07:00

OMG, OMG, you won't believe what I just found out. I got called for NUS' entrance test! *squee* I'm still shaking. I was just sooo sure I won't get called. With my horrible grades and their high standard, I just didn't think they would look at it twice. But apparently they did.

It's going to be on 7-8 February, so that means I have, uh, less than three weeks to study.

Omg.

Going to study, now!

Yay!

2009-01-15T19:15:00.003+07:00

I finally figured out the new blog, much thanks to Thania for the guidance. :P

Well, there's nothing super interesting today. As predicted, my legs are sore thanks to yesterday's run. And I just got home from school at 5 p.m. But today wasn't that bad for me. I had some laugh, thanks to Elien and Stella. The script was also done (finally!), copied, and distributed to my group. I'm slightly worried about my part (I'm playing a slightly insane girl who's somewhat overbubbly) Tomorrow's the first practice - in front of the whole class - so hopefully it'll go well.

Just need to finish my English assignment and I can rest on the weekend. Hopefully.

Anyway, American Idol Season 8 has begun! I know it's only the auditions, but I just can't stop watching. The bad ones are hilarious (though I feel bad for laughing at them, but the judge's reactions are sooo priceless sometimes. :D), and I like guessing which good ones would make it to the top. That way I can root for them from the start. I remember watching David Archuleta's, David Cook's and Brooke White's auditions, and those three end up being my favourites. :D

Well, it's on again right now. So I'm off. Talk to you soon!

new skin

2009-01-14T17:06:00.000+07:00

Still working on it...

Nominee

2009-01-14T16:28:00.002+07:00

I ran ten laps in PE today. In eight minutes. My uniform reeked of sweats, and at one point I really thought I would pass out. I’m very sure my legs would be all stiff and throbbing tomorrow morning.

I need exercise. Desperately so.

Anyway, I love award season. Most of the time I should be studying instead of watching them, so it’s kinda a guilty pleasure. =P The red carpets are always fun to look at, but my favorite part is when the presenter announces the winner and he/she looks genuinely surprised about it. Even though I don’t know them, I can’t help but be happy for them.

However, the award I’m looking forward the most isn’t held in Hollywood. It’s the Wizard’s Choice Award on SAYS. It’s a lot of fun to go through my favorite stories and find the ones I want to nominate, read the nominations, and hope that my name or my story would pop up somewhere. =P

This year, it actually does. Yayyy!! I’m nominated for Most Helpful Beta and A Bargain for the Heart is nominated for Quirkiest Pairing. It feels so awesome just to be nominated (because the ones who nominated me are the writers who are just brilliant), I honestly don’t mind if I don’t win.

Not that I don’t want to win though. =P

Anyway, gotta go back to editing that script for my final. *sighs* I just can't seem to get it right...

So Far So Good

2009-01-12T16:01:00.000+07:00

It’s the second week of the 2009, and I can honestly say I have been doing a pretty okay job with keeping up with the resolution. I’m thinking positive thoughts, even chanting ‘I love Monday’ to myself this morning. I’m sticking to the schedule I made for myself (most of the time). Oh, and I eat my vegetables now (though I stuffed myself silly last Saturday, eating dim sum, and I still don’t exercise). I’m writing almost daily now, even if only for fifteen minutes. So far so good.

On a different note, school is going to eat me alive. Seriously. Our first test is this Wednesday, and more will follow. I still have a scene and a half to write on that script, an English assignment to be done, and practical exams worries. It takes all of my will power to not just toss them aside and play Wedding Dash 2 instead. Mini games are so addicting.

Anyway, I’ve been doing some thinking. Suddenly I’m not sure if I want to study English Lit in college. I’ve already picked it for my last choice for NTU, but what am I going to do if I get accepted for it? Don’t get me wrong, I think I’d be happy there, but what kind of career would I have? I still have my doubts about my writing skills, and in my head I know I can’t rely too heavily on it. I wouldn’t turn down a chance to get into NTU, but it depends on what my parents decide. They’ve been more accepting about my writing for the last few years, but I don’t think they’d be thrilled if I study it for my major.

*sighs* I worry too much, don’t I?

Blackout

2009-01-09T19:24:00.001+07:00

There was a torrential downpour yesterday, which unsurprisingly caused a blackout. A SIX HOURS BLACKOUT. Thank God for emergency lights, or we would have sat in the dark for practically the whole night. I was allowed to skip studying, but I would rather study than to sit on the couch, doing nothing.

Well, I didn’t do nothing. The blackout meant the family –me, my sister, my aunt, and my grandma – had to sit together in the family room since there was where the emergency light was, and we started talking. Grandma not so much, but the three of us did. It was not heartfelt or serious, but we laughed a lot. I discussed my novel with my sister.

I like doing it with her sometimes, even though she only says, “that’s alright,” or “I don’t like it.” When it’s the latter, she’d point out what she didn’t like in a blunt manner, which makes her one of my harshest critics. Sometimes she gets too annoyed with me for fussing so much over a storyline, but yesterday she was patient enough to listen to me ramble on and on about my characters and their relationships and then offered her thoughts. It’s nice, especially considering the fact that when we were kids we used to bite each other's heads off on a daily basis. =P

Not My Lucky Day

2009-01-06T16:52:00.001+07:00

It’s only the second day of school, and already the assignments are piling up. Ugh. February’s especially looking to be rather gloom, or at least crazily exhausting, since it’s the month where most of the practical exams are going to take place. >_<

Oh, and guess what? The channeling-Mother-Teresa thing isn’t working at all. I don’t even want to talk about it – it’ll give me migraine – but let’s just say when it comes to group assignments, today is just not my lucky day. It’s pretty good, with the girls joking around and me actually getting some work done, but the script is still waiting to be written and I’ve yet to study for the ‘big test’. Not to mention I want to work on my writing but know that I should put it aside in favors of my academic stuffs because I don’t want to fail my parents again.

But you know what? I think I might pull through. I will make it through; barely, maybe, with many tears, sweat, and blood, but I will make it.

Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right
- Oprah Winfrey

Back Home

2009-01-05T17:39:00.000+07:00

Well, the holiday’s over, so now I’m back home. It’s a little strange, saying I’m back home. When the holiday starts and I go to my parents’ house, it’s also ‘back home’ for me. My friend once pointed this out to me, but I can’t remember who. =P

Back in the city also means back to school. It’s nice, seeing everyone again. No one’s changed too drastically; a haircut here and there, some new rumours, but nothing too drastic. What not nice is getting up at five thirty in the morning and actually sitting through the lessons. And don’t forget that annoying classmate. Some people should have ‘I will learn to shut up’ or ‘I will try to be less self-centered this year’ on their resolution.

This semester already looks to be one of those semesters that just seem to fly by. Big exams lie ahead, including the entrance examination for NTU, which makes me dread my birthday more and more each day. And there are the practical exams, which is possibly more alarming than the written one. I just wish I didn’t have to work with that said annoying classmate. *sighs* I pride myself in being a pretty patient person, but Mother Teresa is probably the only person who would be able to tolerate him smilingly.

Maybe I should start channeling Mother Teresa for now. I won’t have to deal with him again in a couple of months anyway (here’s hoping I won’t ever see him in college). I do have more important matters in mind. Like the fact that I only have four months left in high school, and that though I know things might change and people grow apart, I still wish that, when I get married, my best friends would be there to tease me, that my bridesmaid may be the girl I know since I was nine. Or the fact that once I set out into the ‘real’ world, I might not be able to live as a writer and have to find a ‘real’ job.

So much for positive thinking.

Resolutions

2009-01-05T17:36:00.003+07:00

After many poking and proding, here’s my official list of more do-able resolutions:
1. Think positive.
2. Live healthier à start eating right and exercising routinely (maybe once a week).
3. Get into NTU or Melbourne (Melbourne is good, but NTU is my first choice atm).
4. Stick to the schedules I make for myself, aka start to actually use a planner and not just own one.
5. Graduate with flying colors.
6. Complete SAYS Epic Challenge 2009 (which consists of completing my original novel and a fanfiction).
7. Become a better beta reader and reviewer.
8. Learn to cook.

Looking Back

2008-12-31T22:27:00.001+07:00

So, 2009 is coming in just TWO hours for me, and I can’t help but feel a bit reflective.

This year, I:
- Had one of the best birthdays of my life.
- Said goodbye to two important parts of my life: my best friend and my dog.
- Prepared for the life-changing moment that is college application.
- Had one short-story published.
- Lost a writing competition and entered another one.
- Realized that first impressions are hardly ever right, and found good friends in those I’ve overlooked before.
- Wrote a pairing I never thought I would write in HPFF and actually did it well.
- Discovered that, to some, boyfriends are more important than best friends. Oh well.
- Have yet to fall in love again. Crushes, yes. Love, no.
- Had my first slumber party, one that was filled with tears and memories.
- Tittered at the edge of depression, but got out in the nick of time.
- Began to really, really, contemplate and decide what I want for my future.
- Learned that, whatever waits at the end of the road, I have to want to get there.
- Became more patient with my grandma. I don’t lose my temper with her as much now.

In short, 2008 has been one of the most exciting, chaotic, and insane years of my life. I survived it all, and I have grown. I like to think I’m a better person than I was, but it’s still going to be a while until I’m even half the person I want to be. =P

I haven’t written my list of resolutions yet. I have the rough draft in my head, but I’m still trying to make it more do-able. Otherwise it would be just like any other year, and I don’t want that. 2009 will be different!

Cause these are the days worth living

These are the years we're given

And these are the moments

These are the times

Let's make the best out of our lives

-The Calling, Our Lives

The Beast Within

2008-12-30T22:16:00.001+07:00

There’s a monster living inside me. It stays in the darkest corner of my heart, dormant until it’s time to awake. Like a Dementor, it feeds on negative emotions: anger, jealousy, sadness. Everyone has one, I know, but lately mine has been out of control.

It’s eating me alive. It’s putting dark thoughts in my head, making me feel worthless, unloved, pushing and pulling until I fall apart. I try not to listen to it, I try to think of better things, but sometimes there’s nothing I could do but succumb to it. I hide it well; no one see it unless I let myself break in front of them. My friends think I’m the positive one, the one who’s always so pulled together and calm. When my grades fall apart, my parents think I just don’t work hard enough. Even when I told them about it, they didn’t believe me. They want me to put it in a box and lock it away while I’m studying. They don’t seem to want to understand, and I’m so tired of trying to explain it.

I’m tired of feeling like a failure.

I could see my Dementor’s face sometimes. Bloodshot eyes, glaring icily; grim lips, set in a frown forever; silent sobs swallowed in her throats and venomous thoughts running in her mind. It’s me on my worst state. It’s a part of me only few ever saw, and even fewer understand. Lately it’s been floating up to the surface more and more, making me think of the most horrible thoughts: You’re not good enough. You’ll never make it. No one loves you. You can disappear forever and no one will notice. No one cares.

Writing has been my sanctuary. It heals a part of the pain, but not entirely.

You cry, but you don't tell anyone

That you might not be the golden one

And you're tied together with a smile

But you're coming undone
- Taylor Swift, Tied Together with a Smile

Meet Tipsy

2008-12-29T15:25:00.000+07:00

When I turned seventeen and my dog, Lassie (who is actually a male), turned twelve, I knew the end was creeping around the corner. He was getting old; by this point, he was half-blind because cataract, and had to limp around the house because of his rheumatic. Yet he still welcomed us excitedly when we got home, and when he looked at me with those sad, brown eyes, he looked like he could really see through me. We wanted to take him to the vet, but for whatever reason, never got around to it. I was worried that he would die when I wasn’t around, and that was exactly what happened.

I cried a bit when I was told he had died. If you never had a pet, you wouldn’t know how heartbreaking it is to lose one, especially one that had been a part of the family for twelve years. I don’t think any of us was eager to replace him.

Two months later, a friend of Dad’s, who have heard about our loss, came and gave us a puppy. This one isn’t a street dog like my Lassie was. She’s a pitbull puppy, with light brown fur and grayish blue eyes. The tip of her tail and all four of his legs are white, so we called her Tipsy.

Tipsy, hiding under the ironing table

Unlike Lassie, who was sweet-natured and a bit timid, this little one is energetic and playful. Not satisfied with pats and caresses, she wants us to play with her. She demands attention; if you ignore her, she’ll bark. If she likes you, she’ll try to bite your shoes or your jeans, trying to get you to play with her. As a result, our sandals, pants (including my favourite pajamas pants, which I made and had since I was twelve), and bags have her bite mark all over them. She's careful not to bite body parts, but that doesn't mean she doesn't bite them. Dad's toes are one of her favorite chew toys.

It's infuriating sometimes, when she refuses to let go of your leg no matter what you do (she's stubborn, won't take not for an answer, and fat enough to make it difficult for me to lift her up). But other times she could be so amusing, like the time she slipped repeatedly on the wet floor, or whenever you hit her butt so she stops biting and she gave you this 'what? what did I do?' look.

Is this what parenting feels like? I seriously hope not.

Huffing and Puffing All the Way Up

2008-12-28T16:12:00.000+07:00

Here’s my idea of the perfect weekend: I get up a bit late and spend the entire day by relaxing with a perfect book and writing/reading on my computer at home.

Here’s my dad’s: Get up way early in the morning, drive to a nearby mountain, and hike up.

So this morning, I got up before the sun did, bathed with my eyes half-closed, and got on the car for a three hour drive to Kelud Mountain, Kediri. I slept for most of the trip, accidentally banged my head against the window every time we hit a bump in the road. It wasn’t the smoothest ride, and I was aching all over when we finally arrived.

The fog was thick and the wind was blowing, so we put on our jackets and sneakers and began the journey. I learned that you can’t actually climb the mountain, since it is an active volcano, but you can walk down a path to get close enough to the feet of the mountain. At first, it was easy. The path was smooth and straight and it wasn’t too cold. Then we had to walk across a pitch black tunnel (I finally figured out why my dad insisted on bringing a flashlight), and then the difficult part began.

There’s a spot they called ‘the scenery post’, where you can see the volcano in its full glory from the top. But to get there, you would have to climb the stairs. 500 of them, more or less. The stairs weren’t made to be comfortable either; they were tall and narrow and the handle was all rusty. I had to stop several times to catch my breath, while my father happily snapped a few pics of us everytime he found a good spot. My sister had it worse though. She seemed to struggle more than I did, and refused to budge for several minutes by the time we got to the top.

Aside from the much-needed exercise, the journey up those stairs was actually useless. By the time we were halfway up, the mountain and world beneath me was wrapped in a dense, gray fog, as if we had climbed up those stairs right through the clouds. It was beautiful, in a scary way.

We took several more pictures at the post before we began the trip down those stairs again. Halfway down, rain began to fall. Luckily, it wasn’t too heavy, so we could continue on our way without getting soaked. But it was cold, and I was tired and having mood swings, so I got a bit cranky. Knowing my parents wouldn’t accept the attitude, I sucked it up and concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. That helped, somewhat, and before I knew it, I was at the bottom of the stairs and the fog was gone.

Exhausted and aching, I would have loved to go back to the car and go home. But it wasn’t over yet. We had to go down yet another flight of stairs to see the mountain up, close, and personal. Well, not that close, but close enough to see the small mountain that formed inside of the original mountain’s dome. My dad tried to explain how it happened, but my brain tuned out any information other than the fact that my ankles were aching and that I needed to sit. We took more pics, and finally, FINALLY, we went back to the car.

It’s strange that the older I get, the weaker I seem to become. I’ve gone hiking with my family numerous times, starting when I was little. Mom said Dad used to carry me on his back when I got tired, but when I was eight or nine, I was able to make it on my own, carrying a small bag pack. I remember not being this tired, even feeling rather triumphant when I reached the top. I still feel a bit triumphant now, but the exhaustion beats it out everytime.

I wanna be a kid again. T.T

Well...

2008-12-27T11:21:00.000+07:00

I was thinking to delete this blog, but I guess I still need a place to vent. So this blog lives on.

This might have to be one of my new year resolutions though, keeping up with blogs and my journal. I need to make writing a daily thing. But then again, the same goes for studying. *sighs* So much to do, so little time.

The Wonders of My Friends

2008-07-17T17:57:00.000+07:00

Dedicated to FMMAPS.

I hold a pencil in my hand
Pondering how I’d pen
The wonders of my friends
This is what I wrote at the end

Felicia has the innocence of a child
As well as eyes the size of the moon
She may be afraid to cross the road
But she’s crossing the oceans soon

Margareth possesses a kid’s charm
Yet there’s a woman’s wisdom within
Sometimes loud, sometimes thoughtful
She’s the one to make you think and smile

Michelle is quiet and serene
She’ll surprise you with her wit
As loyal as she is smart
You know she’s the one to be with

Anita’s hands could play and dance
On the piano keys, making music
She’s the queen of her land
And a friend to the end

Stella dreams of saving lives
She makes you laugh without trying
Though she easily panics and worries
She’s never one to give up

I thank God everyday
For the angels he sent my way
For the possible miracles
For the very best kind of friends

My Big Break

2007-07-09T12:23:00.000+07:00

I’m officially a published author. Okay, maybe just half-published. I haven’t written a novel, but two of my short stories made it into a magazine. Here’s how it happened:

Last February, a popular girl magazine opened a submission for a short-story writers coaching, which was held in the capital city every weekend for a month. It was a pretty well-known event, and every writer that came out of it has released a book that does well in the market. Now, it was normally held for the capital city only, but this time they opened five spots for the other cities and allowed those five to follow the coaching online. They only asked us to send a short story or two for them to judge, and then they will choose the best ten for the capital and five for the others. A year ago, I’ve sent in my story, not knowing that it was for the capital only. I was turned down. So, when I saw that they’re holding it online, I decided to try it again. I thought perhaps they turned me down last year because of technical reasons and not because I lack the writing skills. And guess what? Exactly on my birthday, I was informed that this year I was chosen as one of those five out of two hundred entries.

It was exciting and I went around grinning and smiling all the time. I gladly accepted that I had to write a story every week for a month, and at the time I forgot how awful I was at handling deadlines. Then the first assignment started, and I immediately found myself in over my head. For one, my internet chose that time to stop working and I had to use the school’s computers (whose internets are really, really slow) or ask my friend to send the assignment for me. Also, I only had four days to find an inspiration and write a seven to nine pages long of story. I rarely write short stories. Every plot bunny that hops my way comes in a novel-length size, so it was a real challenge for me. That first story turned out quite horribly for me, although they said it wasn’t as bad as I thought.

I then tried to adjust to the deadlines and did the second assignment bit by bit for those four days. This time, it was satisfactory and it was even dubbed ‘best short story so far’. The third wasn’t as brilliant, but it wasn’t bad either. Soon I realized I worked much better under pressure, though it didn’t do well for my health or my grades. I slept late and had to skip studying Math because I was behind in my writing (I know, I need to change my priorities), and I didn’t get to sleep late during a holiday. By the fourth and last assignment, I was worn out and worried that I wouldn’t make the top three just because one lousy story. Yeah, even though this wasn’t a real competition, they were still going to pick the best three writers and these three would get an additional price and have their stories published in the magazine. Not to mention the fact that being best three helps with publishing your own novel. I wanted it badly, but I tried to not get my hopes up.

They announced the best three, and I was on the list. The fact that my name was on the very top of the list inflated my head a little, but I don’t want to be cocky. =P It was great to find out that I won, but my friends and family’s reactions were much better. They always support me and my writing (they even insist on reading my fanfictions), but I always got the feeling that it wasn’t something that made my parents proud. Now perhaps I’ve given them a reason to be proud.

This experience has given me more faith in my ability to write, and it’s also the third big moments in my writing experience. The first was when I became Trusted Author and the second was when ‘A Special Valentine’ was chosen as a recommended story. Hopefully my next big moment will be the release of my first novel. Wish me luck!

Fighting for the first time

2006-11-18T13:11:00.000+07:00

For fifteen years, I had never had a fight with my close friends. My best friend and I grew apart for awhile, but we never had a real fight. I know you probably don’t believe me, but it’s true. Well, anyway, that has changed. In one and a half month, I have two rows with two different groups of friends.

The big one is with my closest friends, the one I hang out with everyday. It was a rather weird fight, with uncertain beginning or ending. I feel a bit guilty about the fight, because my comment started it. I teased Christy (fake name) about this guy who’s been text messaging her all the time and Laura and Tara heard it. They nagged Christy about who it was, but she didn’t want to tell them because she didn’t want them teasing her about him. That two can be real teasers sometimes. They got mad and walked away, but we didn’t call after them because we thought they were just sulking and it would end soon. It didn’t; they refused to talk to Christy, Via, and me for two days. We apologized and text messaged them, but they didn’t reply. We tried talking to them in school, but they ignored us like we were invisible. I was really mad, I hate it when people ignore me, and I was going to ignore them as well, but Via and Christy felt bad about the fight and didn’t want to give up. I told them they could keep trying, but I was tired of it. They did, and after three days, we were okay again.

Looking back, maybe I was too stubborn and too temperamental, and I’m glad my friends didn’t give up like I did. Nobody can ever replace Laura and Tara. I learnt something out of this: never let your friends walk away angry, solve the problem right there and then.

Our friendship isn’t the same again after that fight. You wouldn’t be able to tell if you see us, but I can feel the change. After all, you can’t just fight with someone and go straight back to normal. I'm just hoping we won't be fighting again anytime soon.

The Cab Ride

2006-10-24T17:17:00.000+07:00

I got this from my friend and I want to share it with you:

THE CAB RIDE
Twenty years ago, I drove a cab for a living. When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away. But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 80's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets. There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware."Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman. She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb. She kept thanking me for my kindness.

"It's nothing," I told her. "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."

"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said.When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said. "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice." I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued. "The doctor says I don't have very long."

I quietly reached over and shut off the meter. "What route would you like me to take?" I asked. For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl. Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now." We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico. Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her. I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door.The woman was already seated in a wheelchair. "How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said. "Thank you." I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life. I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk.

What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away? On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life. We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments. But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, BUT THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

"Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here, we might as well dance."

Drabble

2006-08-15T21:01:00.000+07:00

This is a drabble I write based on Elfy aka Marissa's topic in Hufflepuff's common room on SAYS. Not my best writing, but I like it.

I used to think that my heart is not made of glass. My heart doesn’t smash to smithereens easily. It’s as strong and stubborn as I am. And I am quite glad to say it’s perfectly capable of healing its’ wounds quickly. But then my heart decided to fall for someone, someone so close to me yet I couldn’t reach him.

I don’t suppose ten years old girls really understand the concept of love, yet when I first saw him, I felt for him. It was a mixture of familiarity and pity, it was like he was an old friend I couldn’t recall, and he looked somewhat lonely I just wanted to hug him. And then Fred told me his name. Harry Potter. I had squealed in admiration and asked to see him. At that moment, I began to develop something my brothers called puppy love on the Boy-Who-Lived. And by the time I enrolled in Hogwarts, it was close to the point of obsession. I couldn’t talk or act properly around him, and all I wanted to do was to think of him. That was one of many things that made me so stupid as to believe in Tom Riddle.

When Harry saved me from the Chamber of Secret, I panicked. I had helped a monster, and I had nearly gotten him killed. Still he understood. He didn’t blame me or judge me. He didn’t even tell Dumbledore about the horrible things I did. In my eyes, Harry Potter was a hero, my hero.

Four years passed. I had finally come to accept that he would only look at me as his best friend’s sister. It was painful to acknowledge, and I didn’t move on so easily. I pushed him to the corner of my heart and began to notice other guys. I even had a couple of boyfriends and managed to talk to him freely. I was happy, even though I still hid a hope for him to like me back.

And then, he did. The few months we shared as a couple were probably the happiest moment of my life. I was content, but I knew it couldn’t last forever. Harry was too noble to put his feelings before everyone else’s safety. And I was right. The minute his eyes gazed into mine, I knew what he was going to say. I didn’t object, for I know his mind was made up.

I thought it hurt when he didn’t notice me, but it hurt even more when I have to let him go. Especially when I know he still cares for me.

I used to think that my heart is not made of glass. It doesn’t shatter into pieces easily. But Harry had proved me wrong.

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass

Growing Up and High School

2006-08-13T15:14:00.000+07:00

I’ve always wondered how it would feel being in high school. Would it be any different from middle school? Harder? More Fun? Or would it be the same?

Well, two weeks after I start high school, I’m not sure how I should answer my own question. It’s really different, of course, what with the lessons being harder and the tougher competitions in the class. My parents put more pressure on me now, telling me that the school is expensive and I should do my best now that they’re paying more for my education. It’s not like I didn’t know. The school is expensive. It’s one of the best schools in town, of course it’s expensive! My classmates are all wealthy, not to mention smart. I really have to focus on my lessons just to keep up with them.

My old friends haven’t changed so much. We’re all still joked around like we used to do, and two of us are still crushing on anime’s characters instead of real persons. :p We still don’t pay much attention to boys, at least not more than we always do.

High school means growing up. Growing up means change. But I don’t think we’re going to change too much just yet.

Some rambling

2006-06-13T21:45:00.000+07:00

After six days of lounging around, I finally have some exercise today. I went swimming with my sister this morning. It feels great to move some muscles again, lol. I’ve been really lazy lately, and it seems that my world revolve around the computer and the internet. Of course, this is so wrong and I should be paying more attention to the outside world. But it’s harder to do when everytime I pick up the newspaper, the only news there are the bad ones. And it’s almost like there are criminals everywhere. I saw this news about people who stole foods and stuffs from the truck that was supposed to deliver the foods to the victims of a huge earthquake.

Nobody care for anyone anymore.

Let’s move on to another subject, shall we?

I’m still waiting for the announcement whether I graduate or not. It’s kinda unnerving, waiting like this. I’m sure I did my finals well, but still… Anyway, we’re going to have the graduation this Saturday. Now that’s gonna be fun, and probably a bit sad. It’s going to be the last time I see some of my friends. You see, about 40-50% of my classmates are accepted in the same high school, so I’d still see them again. But some others are going to different school, and those are the ones I just befriended this year. It’s going to suck to say goodbye to them. They’re the funniest friend I ever have.

Enough rambling for now. I’ll post again later. See you around!

We Are

2006-06-09T14:54:00.000+07:00

See the devil on the doorstep now (my oh my)
Telling everybody oh just how to live their lives
Sliding down the information highway
Buying in just like a bunch of fools
Time is ticking and we can't go back (my oh my)
What about the world today?
What about the place that we call home
We’ve never been so many
And we've never been so alone

You keep watching from your picket fence
You keep talking but it makes no sense
You say we're not responsible
But we are, we are
You wash your hands and come out clean
Fail to recognise the enemies within
You say we're not responsible
But we are, we are, we are,

One step forward making two steps back (my oh my)
Riding piggy on the bad boys back for life
Lining up for the grand illusion
No answers for no questions asked
Lining up for the execution
Without knowing why

You keep watching from your picket fence
You keep talking but it makes no sense
You say we're not responsible
But we are, we are
You wash your hands and come out clean
Fail to recognise the enemies within
You say we're not responsible
But we are, we are, we are, we are

It’s all about power then
Take control
Breaking the rule
Breaking the soul
They suck us dry till there’s nothing left
My oh my, my oh my

What about the world today
What about the place that we call home
We' ve never been so many
And we've never been so alone.... So alone

This is We Are by Anna Johnson. I was feeling a bit like this song the other day, that's why it's here.

Update

2006-06-06T22:22:00.001+07:00

Now that I’m on holiday, I have a lot of free time to update my fanfictions and the ones on Fiction Central.

On harrypotterfanfiction.com:

Crossing the Thin Line: Chapter 24 is 70% complete. I personally think this fic is my strongest than the other fanfictions. It has a steady flow and strong characters, if I do say so myself. :-P My beta, ABlack is doing an awesome job editing my earlier chapters for this fic.

A Trip to the Future: To be completely honest with you, I haven’t written a single paragraph for the new chapter. I have some loyal readers for these fic and I’m really sorry to make them wait, but the writer’s block is back again. I’m making the draft though. Once I figure everything out, I’ll update.

Charming Charlie: Chapter 2 is 40% complete. I love writing this fic, since I’ve never written anything with Charlie as a character. It’s a bit hard writing about the university like the one my character, Irene, attends. I hardly even begin high school, let alone university. So I only have a slight idea about what university supposed to be. But I’m working on it.

On fictioncentral.net:

Perfect Life: I already write 50% of Chapter 6. Not much of a progress, though, considering the chapter has been sitting on my computer for two months straight now.

Out of the Spotlight: Chapter 3 is almost complete, maybe. I’m not really sure about how long it should be, because there’s so much happening in it. Ever since my friend left it for me to finish, I’ve been struggling to patch it up together. The first version wasn’t a big hit, to put it mildly. I already rewrite it, but it only has one chapter. How sad is that?

Inspiration has been flowing easily for me lately. Maybe it’s because I’m spending my day lazing around, watching TV and playing games. Not really. Mom is keeping me busy by making me cooking and baking cookies. Not that I’m complaining, I love cookies. ^_^

Gotta go now. Catch you later!

Some things about me

2006-05-30T21:43:00.000+07:00

So, if you’re here, that means you’re interested to know something about me. Though there’s hardly anything special about me, but here goes…

I’m just a girl trying to survive growing-up. Not exactly feminine, but I’m not a tomboy either. My friends would tell you that I’m a quiet girl, but if I like you I’ll have a lot to talk about. That’s might be why I’m not popular, mostly people know me as the smart kid. But I have a lot of good friends. One of the main reasons why I’m writing this blog is because my best friend sort of drags me into this. My best friend is this girl who’s into music, smart (even if she won’t admit it), and totally funny. She’s the only person I can talk to for hours on the phone and never run out of topics. We’re so different sometimes I think we sort of keep each other in balance.

I always love writing. I was never good in articulating stuffs, but I do a good job getting my point across in writing. At least I hope so. I never publish my writing before I joined HPFF and Fiction Central. I’m just glad people there react to my fics positively.

It’s safe to say that I’m growing up in a loving family. Although I fight with my sister a lot and with my parents too, I’m still grateful for them. At least I still have a family.

So, I ramble long enough. Reading it back, I don’t really know what kind of first impression I have given to you there. Should I care?