When you look back on times we had
I hope you smile
And know that through the good and through the bad
I was on your side when nobody could hold us down
We claimed the brightest star
And we, we came so far
And no they won't forget

Three years seem to pass in a blink of an eye. All of the sudden it’s the last day of high school. We’ve still got exams before we get to graduations, but this was the last day I study in this class, in this school. My days as a high school kid is numbered, and I’m scared. I’m scared to think about whether or not I’ll get into NUS, whether or not these friends I’ve made are still going to be around when I’m gone, whether or not I’ll be able to survive ‘the real world’. As if this isn’t real.

I’m still praying that I get into NUS. I know my chances are slim, and there are people out there who are way way smarter than me, but I owe this to my parents, to myself. I’ve studied harder than I ever have, my parents have worked so hard every day and every night, and I don’t want to let anyone of us down. All these plans we’ve made, I want to live them.

Anyway, this wasn’t a bad last day. It was full of laughter, for one. Everyone was taking pictures with just about everyone; I don’t think anyone was that interested in the lessons today. :P *will post pics when I have more time* Some kids (coughstellacough) got a bit emotional when the teachers won’t stop reminding us that this was the last day they will be teaching us, and some kept regretting that we have to leave high school soon.

Me? I still don’t feel like this is goodbye. Maybe when they hand the diploma or when I stand in the airport, saying goodbye, that I would start getting emotional.

I mean, I’m a crier; I would tear up at sad movies, when Oprah is having a particularly heartfelt scene and I’m feeling all gooey, when I get a horrible grades…. Hell, I even tear up when I watch the first half of HSM 3. But I didn’t shed a single tear when I said goodbye to Feli, not even when everyone else was bawling their eyes out. It wasn’t that I wasn’t upset about it, I guess it’s more that I’ve prepared for the goodbyes long before we actually say it, so long in fact that I didn’t feel the need to cry anymore when it actually happened. Maybe it’s going to be the same when I graduate.

I don’t know.

The highlights of my high school years: making it into the science class (though it turns out to be much harder than I suspected), getting a spot in the writer’s workshop and then getting my short stories published, my seventeenth birthday, making seventeenth birthday surprises and presents for Michelle, Anita, Feli, and Stella, the first half of eleventh grade – when ignorance was total bliss, choosing colleges and discussing majors with my friends – a discussion that felt like it would never end, studying for the university entrance test – not the actual studying, but the constant support from my wonderful friends, and the day my parents gave their full blessing for my choice of major and gaining their confidence in my ability to write.

There are thousands more, little moments and jokes that would always make me smile, but these are my favourites. Hopefully there are more of those where I’m going.

Whenever you remember times gone by
Remember how we held our heads so high
When all this world was there for us
And we believe that we could touch the sky
Whenever you remember, I'll be there
Remember how we reached that dream together
Whenever you remember

Labels: family, friends, goodbye, graduation, school